


you might be

by caixukuns



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Zhangjun if you squint, all nine percent members show up at least once or twice !, enemies (not really) to lovers au, flirty ziyi is my aesthetic, fuck buddies au, kun has commitment issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:18:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16043114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caixukuns/pseuds/caixukuns
Summary: In retrospect, Xukun really should have seen this coming.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i love fuck buddy aus. they're one of my faves so this came out.
> 
> ignore any mistakes.
> 
> enjoy!

Xukun wakes up with a pounding headache.

“Fuck me.” He mutters as he rubs his hands over his face and groans.

He removes the comforter and opens his eyes. He blinks until everything comes into focus.

That’s not his ceiling.

These are not his walls.

This is not his room.

He frowns and lets out a small squeak when something, _somebody_ , moves next to him. He turns his head to find a head full of black hair poking out from underneath the comforter.

“Who in the fuck,” he slowly removes the comforter from the person’s face and immediately drops it when he sees who it is. “This cannot be fucking happening. No, no, no, no, no, no.”

Xukun cautiously looks down at his body only to find it to be completely naked.

He stares at Wang Ziyi, the student lying next to him, in horror. Xukun cannot believe he slept with the fucking enemy. Wang Ziyi is the captain of the football team and Xukun is the captain of the basketball team at their university. The two teams do not get along.

In fact, all they do is fight. In the cafeteria, in the gym, on the field. Xukun goes to every football game just to badmouth Ziyi and cheer for the opposite team. Ziyi would never admit it but Xukun has seen the football captain do the same to him.

“This is not fucking happening.” He quickly leaves the bed and picks up his clothes that are thrown around all over the fucking room.

He hastily puts them on before grabbing his phone and keys and making a fucking beeline for it.

Unluckily for him, Ziyi lives in a house with all the other guys on the football team.

First of all, that’s unfair, Xukun’s team doesn’t have that. No _other_ team on campus has that. Second of all, he is doomed because half the football team is staring at him when he makes his way down the stairs.

“Cai Xukun?!” One of the guys shrieks and Xukun vaguely remembers who he is (Chen? Or Cheng? He just knows he’s related to the hot senior named BingBing).

“This never happened.” He tells them and runs out of the house as fast as his legs can carry him.

When he gets to his shared dorm with Zhengting, his roommate is staring down at his phone.

“Hey,” Xukun mutters.

Zhengting looks up from his phone and yells, “you slept with the fucking enemy?!”

Xukun’s eyes widen. “ _What_?”

His roommate thrusts his phone into Xukun’s face and he is faced with a picture of him and Ziyi. In Ziyi’s bed. With their naked chests exposed and Ziyi’s arm around Xukun’s waist.

Xukun grabs the phone and stares down at the picture. “Who sent this to you? I will kill them.”

“No one sent it. Someone posted it on the school’s website.” Zhengting tells him as he takes his phone back. “Everyone knows now. The basketball team is going to shun you.”

Xukun throws himself face first onto his bed and screams into his pillow.

“So…” Zhengting starts. “Is he as good in bed as he looks?”

Xukun sits up and glares. “I don’t remember and I _don’t_ _want_ _to_.”

“You don’t remember.” Zhengting deadpans. 

“No! What the hell was I doing at that barbarian’s place anyway?”

“We crashed their party. Wow, you really don’t remember?”

Suddenly the door bursts open and their mutual friends and basketball members storm into their dorm.

“Why do you get to sleep with the captain of the neanderthals but I can’t fuck Zhangjing?” Yanjun demands, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Who the fuck is Zhangjing?” Xukun asks.

“We’re enemies, Kun!” Linkai shouts.“You can’t sleep with the fucking enemy.”

“Yanjun is right. I wanted to ask Chengcheng out.” Someone he’s never seen before says.

“Who are you?” Xukun asks him.

“Justin. I’m a new member of the team? I started last month?”

Huh, Xukun does not remember him at all.

Zhengting clears his throat. “I kinda wanted to become friends with Wenjun.”

“I don’t know who any of these fucking people are.” Xukun says. “Also, Zhengting, you aren’t on the basketball team. You can be friends with whoever the hell you want.”

Zhengting rolls his eyes. “They’re all on the football team and no. I can’t be friends. I’m basically one of you and they all hate me too.”

“If you can fuck the enemy, I can date the enemy. I’m asking Zhangjing out.” Yanjun declares before storming out of the dorm.

“What have you started?” Linkai narrows his eyes at Xukun.

Xukun just stares blankly at him. This is not his fault. It can’t be his fault because he clearly can’t remember what happened so. It didn’t happen.

Linkai glares at him before walking out, the newbie following him.

“God, fuck this.” Xukun lays face down on his bed again.

“Look on the bright side.”

“Which is what?” Xukun asks.

“You got to fuck the hottest guy at this university. I heard no one’s been able to sleep with him. You’re the first.”

“Oh, great.” Xukun mutters sarcastically.

“Cheer up! I’ll see you after class.” Zhengting leaves.

Xukun flips over so he’s facing the ceiling and takes his phone out. He goes on the school website to find the picture is still up. He scrolls down to read the comments.

 

**Da-Xia:** this is every fanfiction girl’s wet dream LMFAO

**Jinghua:** out of everyone he could have slept with it had to be that obnoxious asshole (rolls eyes)

**LiMing:** _@Jinghua_ don’t be jealous he likes dick. he always did. you never stood a chance.

 

They’re definitely talking about Ziyi. Xukun is not obnoxious. Or an asshole.

 

**xiaogui:** TRAITOR. YOU’RE A TRAITOR CAI XUKUN.

**Yanchen:** omg is this going to create more wars

**wziyi:** xukun if you see this please meet me at the park near campus

**zhourui:** 300 yuan they start dating in 2-3 months

**Da-Xia:** _@zhourui_ you’re on.

**Mei Xing:** enemies to lovers. my favourite trope!

**LiMing:** _@zhourui_ 400 yuan it’s gonna take them at least 6 months

**zhourui:** ITS ON.

 

Do these people not have lives?

Wait, what.

He scrolls back up.

 

**wziyi:** xukun if you see this please meet me at the park near campus

 

No.

Xukun turns his phone off and goes to sleep so he can be alert for basketball practice that evening.

 

He doesn’t sleep for long because he wakes up to someone shuffling around. He throws his covers off and sits up. He rubs his eyes and looks to see Zhengting pulling books out of his bag.

“Aren’t you late for practice?” Zhengting asks.

Xukun looks at his alarm clock and curses, “fuck.”

He grabs his gym bag and bolts out of their dorm. He doesn’t stop running until he makes it to the basketball court, all the way at the other end of campus. He sees his team members waiting for him and they look aaaaaaaangry. 

Maybe he should make a run for it. 

He’s about to when Yanjun comes up from behind him and drags him on to the court.

“You want to explain why the fuck you slept with Wang Ziyi?” Ding Zeren asks.

“Yeah, aren’t we supposed to be enemies with those stupid fucks?” Yibo says pointedly.

“Why were we enemies in the first place?” Xukun sighs. Honestly, he barely remember why. “We should all be civil towards each other.”

“So, you slept with him to prove a point?” One of the newbies whose name Xukun can’t remember (wait, was he the kid who stormed into his dorm?), asks. “Plus, the football and basketball teams have been rivals for like a decade. You can’t change that.”

“We’re enemies because they go around sleeping with _our_ men.” Another inputs.

“Oh, please,” Yanjun scoffs. “Your ex-boyfriend’s a hoe. He slept with half the drama club and dance club before he made his way to the football team.”

Xukun looks at him. “You on my side?”

“We’re best friends.” Yanjun frowns. “I have to be on your side but I’m still fucking pissed at you.”

“Fair enough.” Xukun looks at his team. “It’s never gonna happen again, okay. You can go right back to hating each other. Now, can we practice?”

His teammates rolls their eyes but reluctantly start their practice session.

Xukun starts out great during the first half of the game but eventually loses focus because the memories of last night finally come back to him. During the second half of the practice game, all he sees is Ziyi’s face, his naked body, and the way Ziyi’s hands touched every inch of his bare skin.

He doesn’t like how it made him feel and he does not like the direction his thoughts are going to right now. 

He’s about to shoot when a very vivid memory of Ziyi asking him to spend the night pops into his mind. Ziyi didn’t look as drunk as Xukun felt that night. He looked like he really meant it. He really wanted Xukun to stay.

He misses his shot.

He continues missing his shots and accidentally passes to the members on the opposite team, causing all of his teammates to give him dirty looks.

“What the fuck are you doing? Focus!” Linkai yells at him. 

He shakes his head and the thoughts away and thanks god when the game is finally over. The team make their way to the changing rooms to take showers but Xukun heads back to his dorm.

“Why do you look like you saw a ghost?” Zhengting asks as soon as he steps inside.

Xukun stares at him. “I remember what happened.”

Zhengting’s eyes widen and a huge grin appears on his face. He closes their door.

“Tell me everything!” He says excitedly.

“I don’t want to.”

“You fucking suck.”

Xukun groans. “Fine.” He sits down on his bed. “I was in the kitchen, getting wasted and I was already drunk as hell. Ziyi came up to me and started flirting for no damn reason. Then he kissed me and we went upstairs and had sex. Then I passed out.”

Zhengting stares at him. “That was boring.”

“That’s what happened.” Xukun rolls his eyes.

He leaves out a few details like the way Ziyi kissed him (slow and deep), the way Ziyi touched him (gentle, as if he was afraid of hurting or breaking Xukun), and the way he whispered out ‘stay’ when Xukun wanted to leave but Zhengting doesn’t need to know all of that. He definitely doesn’t need to know that Xukun told Ziyi he had fun and that they should hang out more.

“Anyways, whatever, it’s never happening again and I won’t see him again, so.” 

“Are you kidding? You have English with him.”

“Oh, fuck me.”

Xukun had completely forgotten about that. 

Oh, fuck him indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys have high expectations jshfjsjs. hopefully i meet them.

Xukun is not looking forward to English class.

He is not ready to face Ziyi after dreaming about him every single night for the past four nights. How’s he going to look at him without turning bright red when he dreamed about Ziyi sucking him off?

So, he does what he deems logical, he skips English. He goes to the university’s cafeteria only to find Ziyi there as well. He wants to run, make a beeline for it, which, admittedly, he has been pretty good at these days but he straightens up and walks past the table Ziyi is sitting at, pretending like he doesn’t notice him. Xukun sits down at a table, his back facing Ziyi, and takes his laptop out. He’s typing in his password when Ziyi sits in front of him.

Xukun’s fingers freeze on his keyboard and he blinks at the other.

Now that Xukun is looking at him from up close and not being blinded by anger and yelling at him, Ziyi isn’t too bad looking.

He’s got a sharp jaw, nice eyes, thick hair, thin lips though.

He’s wearing a tight white shirt that his arm muscles are begging to get out of. Ziyi hesitantly waves at him and there they are. Those big ass hands. The hands that touched him. The hands that made his skin burn. The hands that Xukun wouldn’t mind having on his body again—wait, what, no, Xukun, _no_. 

“Hey,” Ziyi says and Xukun doesn’t remember his voice being so soft. Of course he doesn’t because all he’s heard is Ziyi yelling out his name. “Did you see my comment about meeting up?”

Xukun can’t look him in the eyes, the images of his dreams popping up in his mind with Ziyi on his knees, his braids undone and dangling in front of his eyes, his hands gripping Xukun’s thighs, and his throat swallowing Xukun whole. Ziyi’s looking up at him with Xukun’s dick in his mouth and his eyes are incredibly dark and intense.

Xukun’s dick hardens in his pants and his face heats up.

Why is the dream so fucking vivid? You’re supposed to forget your dreams, not remember them.

“Xukun.”

He snaps out of it. “Huh? What—oh, what?”

Ziyi gives him a strange look and repeats, “did you see my comment about meeting up?

“No,” Xukun lies.

Ziyi’s mouth forms a small ‘o’.

They sit in awkward silence for a few moments. Xukun wants to get up and find another table. He’s never felt so awkward and uncomfortable before but since he slept with the guy, he figures he should be semi-decent.

“What do you want?” Xukun finally asks.

“I wanted to talk. You left before I could make you breakfast.” Ziyi half-smiles.

Xukun decides to ignore the second sentence. “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I actually had fun and I was wondering—”

_No, nononononononononono, no, no. This can’t happen again. No._

“Whoa,” Xukun interrupts, “whatever you were wondering, it’s not happening again.”

Ziyi blinks. “You’re the one who told me to find you so we could hang out again.”

“I know what I said. It’s not happening again. It was a mistake.”

Ziyi’s face falls slightly and he looks…hurt.

Xukun doesn’t think too much about it. Why in the hell would he be hurt?

“Sorry to bother you then.” Ziyi says and stands up.

It looks like he wants to say more but he doesn’t. He walks away and Xukun watches him go, his eyes on Ziyi’s ass. When Ziyi is out of sight, Xukun lets out a breath he was not aware that he was holding in.

He’s never going to see Ziyi again.

He’s going to ignore him during English and move on with his life.

Yes, that’s exactly what’s going to happen, he doesn’t need to worry.

 

  ❤️

 

He is wrong.

The football team is having a party at their house (do they do anything besides lose brain cells from too much alcohol consumption?) and Yanjun forces Xukun and the whole basketball team to crash despite all of his protests. Yanjun only wants to see Zhangjing but Xukun doesn’t understand why he’s being subjected to this abuse.

("Yanjun, I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. Don't you want to see Ziyi again?"

"No," Xukun says flatly.

"I'll do all your Econ homework. All of it."

"You like economics."

"And you don't."

"We _are_ going.")

And that is how he finds himself standing in the middle of the living room. Five minutes in, his best friend ditches him for some short guy he’s assuming is Zhangjing, and the teams start fighting.

“Tonight is not going to end well.” He says to himself and goes into the kitchen for beer.

Ziyi is leaning against the fridge with his phone in his hand. Xukun needs the fridge to get a beer but he decides against it. He’s trying to ignore the football captain and have him out of his life.

He turns to go when Ziyi calls out his name. 

He turns back and looks at him.

Apparently, he cannot ignore Wang Ziyi.

Ziyi’s smirking at him. “Can’t stay away from me?”

“I came to see the damage our teams are going to cause to your house.” Xukun smirks back at him. “They’re getting physical.”

Ziyi walks towards him and Xukun backs away until Ziyi has him pinned against the counters.

He leans in close, his lips against Xukun’s ear when he whispers, in a throaty voice, “why don’t we get physical?”

Xukun wants to push him away, wants to walk right out of the kitchen but Ziyi’s voice goes straight to his dick. He makes a painful noise but doesn’t utter a word or move.

When he doesn’t say anything, Ziy’s teeth graze the shell of Xukun’s ear and he presses his body against Xukun’s. Xukun lets out an involuntary moan which makes Ziyi grin and kiss his jaw.

Xukun gasps. “Let’s go.”

Ziyi immediately takes Xukun’s hand in his and leads him upstairs to his room. He closes the door and pushes Xukun against it, his mouth automatically going to Xukun’s neck while his hands make their way under Xukun’s shirt. Xukun wraps his arms around Ziyi’s neck and arches into his body. The friction caused by their dicks causes Ziyi to bite down on Xukun’s shoulder blade and hiss. Ziyi’s hands travel down to Xukun’s ass and gropes it before lifting the shorter up. Xukun wraps his legs around Ziyi’s torso as Ziyi nibbles on his bottom lip for entrance. Xukun groans, opening up for him, and tangling his hands in Ziyi’s dark hair.

Their tongues fight for dominance as Ziyi starts undoing Xukun’s pants. The football captain pulls away and commences kissing, licking, and nipping at Xukun’s neck and collarbones.

“Fuck, Ziyi,” Xukun moans, tugging at Ziyi’s hair, and bringing their lips together.

Ziyi groans into his mouth and carries him to the bed. He slowly lowers Xukun down before taking his pants off and kissing him again.

Xukun places his hands on Ziyi’s waist and presses their bodies together, causing Ziyi to grind against him. Xukun buries his face into Ziyi’s neck to stifle the moans as he continues grinding against him.

They continue like this and Xukun is not going to last for much longer.

 

—46 minutes later—

 

Xukun comes to Ziyi slowly fucking him and it’s one of the best orgasms he has ever had, like ever. Now they’re both laying naked in Ziyi’s bed but neither of them have said a word. It’s dead silent but they’re still panting and catching their breaths so that just makes it even more awkward. Xukun wants to get up and leave but he doesn’t want Ziyi watching him get dressed.

The silence is tense, unbearable, and there’s a question hanging in the air between them that Xukun chooses to ignore. He really, really, really wants to leave. Now that he’s not horny and looking to get fucked, he feels remorseful. He looks around the room and sees that his clothes are near the door.

Why couldn’t they fuck with the lights off like every ashamed person?

“Do you, uh, want to…stay?” Ziyi asks, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“I really don’t.” Xukun blurts out before his brain can process something nice to say.

“Okay,” Ziyi nods, turning over so he’s facing the other way, “please turn off the light and close the door when you leave.”

Xukun frowns. “I do not want to end up on the fucking school’s website again.”

Ziyi turns over and looks at him and Xukun regrets not leaving immediately because Ziyi’s hair is messy, his eyes are kind of glazed over, his lips are red and swollen and he looks absolutely gorgeous all debauched and shit.

He coughs slightly and averts his gaze.

“It’s quiet. I think everyone left but I’ll help you sneak out.” Ziyi says and gets up, still completely _naked_ , to get dressed.

He walks over to his closet and Xukun’s eyes immediately go to Ziyi’s bare ass. Ziyi’s ass is _glorious_. It’s firm and Xukun cannot imagine that no one has tapped that besides him. He definitely does squats. Ziyi’s not embarrassed at all as he looks for something to wear, in fact, it looks like he flexes a little to show off (ugh, show off). Xukun would be confident in that body too. Honestly, who wouldn’t? If his body got any nicer, Xukun wouldn’t think twice about sleeping with him again.

He’s openly staring at it and imagining all the things that could probably bounce off Ziyi’s cheeks that he doesn’t notice the other looking at him from over his shoulder.

“Like what you see?” Ziyi asks and Xukun’s eyes snap up.

Their eyes lock and he feels his face start to heat up, the tips of his ears turning red. 

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Xukun glares. “I was thinking about how you could workout more.”

Ziyi laughs and pulls on a pair of jeans. “I will if you become my workout partner.” He throws on a grey hoodie and grins at Xukun.

“That’s not happening.” Xukun says flatly.

“Worth a try.” Ziyi mumbles.

He picks up Xukun’s clothes and throws them on the bed. He leaves his room and closes the door behind him. Xukun jumps out of the bed and quickly gets dressed. He shoves his phone and keys into his pocket and cautiously opens the door a bit. He peeks through it and when he sees no one is in the hall, he opens the door fully and steps out.

“No one’s home, Xukun!” Ziyi yells from the bottom of the stairs. “Let’s go, I’ll give you a ride.”

Xukun walks down the stairs and takes in the damage that has been done to the house. The lamps and picture frames are broken and some tables, as well as the _TV_ , have been knocked over.

“Yeah, they totally did not think things twice.” Xukun says.

Ziyi shrugs. “We’ve done worse.”

“What?” Xukun stares at him incredulously. “You all are actually neanderthals.”

“That’s not very nice to say to someone you’re sleeping with.” Ziyi raises his eyebrows and starts walking to the garage, Xukun in tow.

Xukun disregards that comment. “I can walk, you know. The dorms aren’t that far.”

“It’s late,” Ziyi unlocks his car, “I don’t need someone kidnapping you before I rock your world again.”

“You did not rock my world,” Xukun rolls his eyes and it’s a lie.

Ziyi totally rocked his fucking world. It was the best sex he has ever had but he isn’t going to willingly admit that to him. He has too much pride for that.

“It’s also not happening again.” Xukun tells him but gets into the passenger seat nonetheless.

“You already said that.” Ziyi says and drives off. 

“I _mean_ it this time.”

The drive is short. In only a couple of minutes, Ziyi is parked right outside of the dormitory. 

“Okay, bet.” Ziyi says before Xukun can get out. “If it happens again, we continue it. If it doesn’t happen, I’ll leave you alone and we can go back to hating each other.”

“Go _back_ to hating each other? Who said I stopped?”

“Well, the way you were moaning out my name just 20 minutes ago didn’t really give me the vibe that you hated me.”

Xukun chokes. “W—well, I still do.”

Ziyi doesn’t look like he believes Xukun and he sighs.

“Fine,” he relents, “it’s a deal.”

The football captain smiles and it’s genuine. “I’ll see you soon. Sleep well, Kun.”

“You cannot call me Kun.” Xukun glowers.

“Not yet but I will.” He winks at Xukun.

“Ugh,” Xukun gets out and walks into his building without looking back.

There’s no way in hell he’s going to sleep with that cocky little shit again.

No fucking way.


	3. Chapter 3

In retrospect, Xukun really should have seen this coming.

He doesn’t know why he’s surprised that he ended up in Ziyi’s room once again.

He’s currently on Ziyi’s bed, getting his dick sucked by him, and this is definitely better than any of his dreams. Ziyi’s on his knees in front of him and his wavy hair dangles in front of his eyes as he looks up at Xukun. He watches Ziyi’s pouty lips and head go up and down on his dick, their eyes locked, and it’s intimate ( _abort!_ ). Too intimate ( _abort!_ ) that he has to close his eyes.

Ziyi’s mouth is wet and warm, his tongue is soft and feels so amazing against his dick, and he knows exactly what to do with it but he is such a tease. He is going excruciatingly slow and Xukun just wants to fucking cum.

“Ziyi. Faster!” He groans, pulling on Ziyi’s hair.

Ziyi hums, the noise vibrating against Xukun’s dick, but doesn’t go any faster.

Xukun pulls a little harder on Ziyi’s hair, making the other grunt and comply. Ziyi starts to suck faster, his hands gripping the inside of Xukun’s thighs, and just like that, Xukun is cumming. He throws his head back, his fingers tugging at Ziyi’s hair a little, feeling euphoric. 

Ziyi keeps sucking after he swallows. Xukun’s legs start to shake and the noises he tried to stop coming out of his mouth come full force. 

He whimpers out Ziyi’s name as Ziyi pulls away, his mouth making a pop sound. He licks Xukun’s tip, getting rid of any cum that might have dripped down that his throat didn’t catch, and wipes the side of his mouth. Xukun opens his eyes to find Ziyi already gazing up at him.

“I like the way you say my name,” Ziyi says, his voice rough.

He stands up and kisses Xukun. He places his gigantic hands on both sides of his face and kisses him deeply and roughly. Xukun kisses back with no hesitation. He tangles his fingers in Ziyi’s hair once again and Ziyi pushes him backwards. Xukun lays down on the bed as Ziyi gets on top of him. 

Ziyi pulls away and starts kissing his jaw before making his way down to Xukun’s neck and sucking as hard as he can.

Xukun groans. “Give me some recovery time at least.”

Ziyi grins against his neck and licks the spot he just attacked. 

It’s definitely going to leave a bruise but it feels so good, he doesn’t want Ziyi to ever stop.

The football captain nips at the skin connecting his earlobe and jaw and kisses it before lying on his back as well.

“I told you it would happen again.” He sounds smug.

Xukun rolls his eyes. “Whatever. If we’re doing this, we need ground rules.”

“As long as I get to fuck you so hard you can’t walk the next day.”

“We are strictly fuck buddies. We don’t sleep over. We don’t cuddle. We don’t make conversation. We don’t hang out unless we’re fucking. We _are not_ in a relationship.” He’s going to continue when Ziyi stops him.

“Yeah, I got it. Sex with no strings attached. I can handle that.”

“There’s more.” Xukun says and Ziyi nods. “No hickeys and no acknowledging each other in person. I don’t want anyone to know about this.”

“Damn, Kun, why are you so embarrassed of me?”

“No calling me Kun.”

Ziyi sighs. “Fine. I won’t call you Kun as long as we can hang out as friends.”

“What part of I don’t want anyone to know don’t you get?”

“Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean we’re fucking.”

“That’s exactly what it means. People are going to put two and two together and figure it out.”

Ziyi sighs even louder this time. “Fine then. I’m calling you Kunkun.”

Xukun makes a face. “I’m not a _child_.”

“No but…you could be my baby.” Ziyi says suggestively. 

Xukun ignores the way ‘my baby’ makes his insides feel (delighted and…happy?). He makes an even more disgusted face and gets out of Ziyi’s bed. He starts putting on his clothes as Ziyi watches him.

He’s walking towards the door when Ziyi tells him, “the guys are home.”

“All right.” He walks to the window and starts climbing out. “See you later.”

“‘Night, Kunkun.” Ziyi winks at him but continues watching.

Xukun looks down and gulps. This isn’t a good idea. It’s a _terribl_ e idea. His scrawny ass is afraid of heights. It’s only the third floor but the house is pretty fucking tall. Why doesn’t he ever think things through? He closes his eyes and hopes for the best as he starts climbing down the pipe. He’s almost there when he loses his footing and falls to the ground on his back.

“Oh fuck.” He groans. 

If he broke his spine, he’s totally blaming Ziyi.

“Are you okay?” Ziyi shouts but it sounds like he’s laughing.

Xukun gives him the finger.

 

❤️  


 

Things with the basketball team are not going well. 

They’re still pissed at him and will make any crude joke that comes at his and Ziyi’s expense (which is a lot of fucking jokes. It’s terrifying the types of jokes and dark humour his species can come up with. It’s at every single practice and game as well. He can’t escape them). Xukun’s threatened them but they’re little shits and they don’t stop. They have also upped their game in pranking the football team. Xukun has asked them to stop that as well but they didn’t listen to that either. Xukun is starting to wonder why the hell he’s captain when they don’t even listen to him.

“The football game is tonight.” Yanjun comments. “You going to go and shout out curses at Ziyi?”

They’re all in the locker rooms, getting dressed to leave but when Yanjun asks that question they all stop and stare at him, waiting for his answer.

Xukun stares back at them and slowly says, “no, I have a paper due tomorrow that I haven’t started.”

Which is a lie. A big fat lie. It was due weeks ago and he didn’t do it so he got a 0. 

It’s just it would be weird to badmouth the guy he’s sleeping with. Even if they are supposed to act like they still hate each other (which Xukun still does, thank you very much), it would be weird. How the hell would they go back to fucking if Xukun spends the whole night yelling bad things about him? And he doesn’t want to stop getting fucked by Ziyi.

The guy is amazing in bed.

So, of course, he has to lie and sleep until Monday.

One of the newbies scoff. “Yeah, sure. You’re just going to go to his place. Chengcheng’s seen you leave his room.”

“You all are worried about me when you should be worried about the newbie. He’s siding with the enemy and not his captain.” Xukun tells his teammates who all turn their glares on the newbie. “What are you doing with a football player, huh?”

Once the attention is off him, Xukun laughs and quickly gets dressed, making his way out of the locker room.

Yanjun falls in step next to him. “I asked Zhangjing out. He said yes. Our first date was 2 nights ago.”

“Um…That’s great? I’m happy for you? Why are you saying it like you’re ready for me to disapprove or someshit?”

“Because he’s friends with the football team.”

“You really think I care, Jun? And you call me your best friend. I’m offended.”

Yanjun rolls his eyes. “I was just saying he’s gonna start coming to our games and if the guys say anything, you have to have my back.”

Xukun looks at him. “Always.”

Yanjun grins and puts his arm around Xukun’s shoulders.

“We should double date. Me and Zhangjing and you and Ziyi.”

Xukun’s eyes widen. “Me and Zyi?!”

“Of course. Where else did you get that hickey from?”

His hand immediately goes to cover the hickey Ziyi had placed last night and mentally curses the football captain.

“It wasn’t Ziyi.”

Yanjun scoffs. “Oh, please, Kun. I’ve known you since we were kids. You can’t lie to me.” He pauses. “I also know you’re lying about the paper. You don’t want to talk smack about Ziyi to everyone on the bleachers because you’re sleeping with him.”

Xukun pushes him away. “ _Goodbye_ , Yanjun.”

Yanjun laughs. “Later, Kun!”

He ignores his best friend.

 

— a few days later —

 

Xukun is trying to write his paper but his phone keeps going off.

“When the hell did you get so popular?” Zhengting asks.

“It’s Zhou Rui. He keeps asking me when Ziyi and I are gonna become official so he can win his stupid bet.”

“When _are_ you going to be official?”

Xukun glares at his roommate. “Never. I don’t like him.”

“Your mouth is moving but all I hear are lies.”

“Well, maybe you’re deaf.”

“Anyways, Wenjun told me that they stopped pranking you guys, is that true?”

Xukun thinks about it. It is true. It’s been a while since the football team has put dye into their shampoos or swapped their shoes with woman’s size right before their game (which was genius. It didn’t fit anyone but that night didn’t end well. They all had to take their shoes off so they could actually play and the whole gym smelt fucking terrible. People on the bleachers left because the smell was so strong) or spray painted their jerseys with penises.

“Huh, they did stop.” Xukun muses.

If the football team could stop acting like teenagers, why couldn’t his team? He sighs.

Zhengting grins, all teeth and creepy. “Your boyfriend did that.”

Xukun throws his thickest textbook at his roommate’s head.

“ _Hey!_ ”

Xukun slumps down in his chair and groans dramatically. 

"I don't wanna do my paaaaaaaper." He whines. "Ting, you wanna do it for me? It's your favourite subject."

"I am _never_ doing any of your assignments ever again. I almost got expelled for doing your calculus assignment last semester."

"That was your fault!" Xukun exclaims. "You wrote your name then crossed it out and wrote mine. Who does that?!"

Zhengting opens his mouth to retort but Xukun's phone lights up with a text from Ziyi.

_you free?_

Ziyi. His fucking saviour. He is most definitely not free. This paper is worth 20% of his grade and his teacher is a hard ass but that doesn’t stop Xukun from doing the exact opposite of what he should have done.

_ur place?_ He texts.

He can finish his paper after they’re done.

_yeah, see you soon._

He closes his laptop and quickly changes into something less bum-y.

“Where are you going? It’s almost midnight.” Zhengting asks then gasps. “Booty call?!”

“Fuck off.” He mumbles and heads over to Ziyi’s.

 

❤️  


 

The fucking turns into a morning thing after that. It usually happens at two or three in the morning, regardless if they have an exam or paper due in the next few hours (that’s usually only Ziyi’s problem because Xukun only has afternoon classes, which thank fuck for him, or he would not be passing on to the next semester). It’s always at Ziyi’s place and Xukun never stays the night – or morning, he should say.

Xukun doesn’t mind (why would he when it was his idea not to sleep over?) but sometimes he gets an achy feeling in his chest when he leaves Ziyi’s room and he can’t explain the feeling.

He doesn’t even want to _think_ about it and what it could possibly mean.

It doesn’t mean anything, he tells himself. He’s just overthinking things he shouldn’t be, he tells himself.

Every time he goes over to Ziyi’s, he convinces himself that it’s purely physical. He’s only going because he wants to get fucked and have his dick sucked but he finds himself constantly thinking about Ziyi. And not just about his body or looks but about his personality and the way he treats Xukun, like he’s the most precious thing Ziyi’s ever had.

Xukun coerces himself not to think about the football captain, forces the voice in the back of his mind telling him that he’s starting to _feel_ , and tells himself repeatedly that he’s in it just for the sex. There is absolutely no other reason. He’s _needs_ to get fucked because the stress of this semester and the stress of being the youngest basketball captain in years, is going to make him explode. Having sex with Ziyi gets rid of that stress. He is relaxed and calm around Ziyi. He’s not going to let _feelings_ fuck that up.

Ziyi's graduating next semester anyway. There's no point in it turning into something more or getting his heart involved.

Xukun can totally fuck without feelings.

How hard could it be?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sjjsjs so sorry for the delay omg. life hit me like a ton of bricks and halfway through writing this i got sick so.

Xukun’s sick and lying on Yanjun’s couch like dead weight whilst on the phone with Ziyi. 

He doesn’t know why he picked up the phone when Ziyi called because, given his track record the past couple of weeks, he always ends up with Ziyi after their phone call ends (they started talking on the phone when Xukun drunk dialled him one night and they took it from there. Xukun regrets it because Ziyi’s voice is the last thing he hears before bed, _every single night_ , and he’s starting to get…attached).

Ziyi is currently insisting on coming over because Xukun, like the idiot that he is, told the football captain that he is sick. He has a fever or something. He doesn’t really know, all he knows is that he is cold and shivering and he wants to die.

“What’s your door number? I can be over soon.” 

“I’m not at the dorm. Zhengting kicked me out because he has a dance competition or something to get ready for and doesn’t want to get sick.” Xukun grumbles. “What an ass. Who kicks someone out when they’re sick? I coughed on all his clothes and textbooks. I hope he gets whatever I have.”

Ziyi laughs. “Where are you staying? I’ll come over with soup.”

“No. I don’t want you to come over.”

“Why not?”

Xukun shrugs. “I dunno.”

“Give me a better excuse then I won’t come over.” He pauses for a few moments before continuing. “Zhangjing just texted me. You’re at Yanjun’s. All by yourself.”

“No!” Xukun shouts in alarm. “I can take care of myself!”

He can’t have Ziyi come over. First of all, he looks like absolute shit. Second of all, he’s not in his right mind. What if he says something stupid, like how much he _actually_ wants Ziyi to come over and take care of him? Third of all, he just wants to die.

“Zhangjing texted me the address. I’ll see you soon. Did you know Zhangjing moved in with him?”

“Explains the small jackets and shoes in the hall that don’t fit Yanjun.” Xukun mumbles. “They moved fast.”

“M’jealous. Moving faster than us.” Ziyi mutters. “We’re fucking sloths. I’ll see you in ten.”

He hangs up before Xukun can even try to persuade him into not coming. He throws his phone on the couch and runs into the bathroom to make himself look less like shit. He quickly combs his messy hair but there is nothing he can do about his red nose. Did he really have to blow his nose every five seconds? His eyes are red too and his lips are dry.

He’s just not going to open the door when Ziyi comes.

Yes, that will work.

Wait, why does he care what he looks like?

_Snap out of it, Xukun._

He goes back to the living area and wraps himself in the blanket before plopping back down on the couch. He’s a few seconds away from falling asleep when the door opens and Ziyi is walking inside with soup.

Xukun sits up on the couch and stares at him. “How did you get in?”

Ziyi closes the door with the back of his foot and walks into the kitchen. “Yanjun told me you wouldn’t open the door so he told me the code.”

“So he wants to die too.”

Ziyi takes out a spoon from one of the drawers and brings it over with the soup. He hands it to Xukun as he sits down next to him.

“You look like shit.” Ziyi comments as Xukun takes the soup from him.

“Because of that, you’re not getting a thank you.” Xukun frowns.

The football captain smiles and he has such a nice smile (a really, _really_ nice smile). “You look like shit but somehow still manage to look cute and adorable all at the same time.”

Xukun puts a spoonful of soup into his mouth and looks down so Ziyi can’t see the blush forming on his cheeks. Thank god for Ziyi and the soup. It finally soothes his throat.

“I’m not adorable.” Xukun pouts around the spoon. “I’m a man.”

“Take the compliment, Kun.” Ziyi says and pulls the blanket over himself as well. “Does Yanjun have Netflix?”

Xukun quickly swallows down the soup and places the empty bowl on the coffee table before saying, “I don’t feel like watching anything. I want to sleep forever.”

Ziyi stares at him in astonishment. “How did you finish the soup so quickly? Wasn’t it hot? Didn’t you burn your tongue?”

Xukun wipes the side of his mouth. “Yanjun only has healthy food and some takeout and both make me want to throw up.”

He pulls the blanket up to his chin and sinks down into the couch. He closes his eyes and lets himself drop sideways so his head is resting on the armrest. He hugs the blanket tighter when he feels a warm hand on his forehead.

“You have a fever.” Ziyi says quietly. “I’m going to get you more blankets and medicine.”

Xukun nods and in a few moments he feels a thick blanket getting thrown over him. Ziyi tucks the blanket in around him and before Xukun knows it, he’s fast asleep. 

 ---

He wakes up a few hours later to Ziyi placing a warm cloth on his forehead. He shivers as he opens his eyes to look at the football captain.

“How are you feeling?” Ziyi asks gently.

Xukun curls up and hugs the blankets. “I’m cold and my head hurts.”

“They don’t have anymore blankets but I made some more soup. That will warm you up.”

“I’m not hungry.” Xukun shakes his head and closes his eyes.

“You have to eat, Kun.”

“I don’t wanna.” He whines petulantly. 

He hears Ziyi walk around for a few minutes before he’s sitting down on the couch again. Ziyi gently helps him up.

Xukun opens his eyes to find Ziyi holding a spoon, ready to feed him soup.

“You need to eat and stay hydrated. Now open up.” Ziyi holds the spoon to Xukun’s mouth and he glares before reluctantly opening his mouth.

Ziyi feeds him in silence and when the soup is finished, he forces Xukun to drink down an entire bottle of water along with some medicine.

“Satisfied?” Xukun asks, slamming the water bottle down on the coffee table.

“Yes,” Ziyi smiles sweetly but there’s nothing sweet about that smile.

Xukun rolls his eyes and lays back down on the couch.

“Do you want to watch anything?”

He shakes his head. “I wanna sleep forever.”

“Sleep forever? You’re not leaving me.” Ziyi takes the cloth and gets up to go to the kitchen. “Your team will blame me.”

Xukun hears Ziyi turn the sink on and place the cloth under it.

“They’re getting along now, I think.” Xukun mumbles, his eyes getting droopy. “My team doesn’t complain anymore and they stopped pranking you guys.”

He closes his eyes and he feels a warm cloth on his neck and forehead.

“Feel better when you wake up, baby.” Ziyi says quietly, pulling the blanket up to Xukun’s chin.

Baby?

Did Ziyi just call him baby?

No, Xukun is hearing things. Probably hallucinating from this fever.

He feels arms wrap around him and warm him up slightly.

But that’s probably a hallucination too.

 ---

The next few days pass by in a blur. Xukun spends majority of the days and nights sleeping, occasionally waking up to Ziyi forcing him to eat and stay hydrated. He doesn’t really recall what happens for the most part but he knows that Ziyi doesn’t leave his side even once.

On the third day, he wakes up to Ziyi’s head resting on his lap, and feeling much better. His shivers are gone and so is his headache. Only his throat is still a little sore.

He looks down at Ziyi and unconsciously removes a few strands of hair away from the football captain’s face before running his fingers through his hair.

“How can you manage to look even prettier sleeping?” Xukun whispers under his breath.

He continues looking at Ziyi when he realizes _how_ he’s looking at Ziyi. It’s the kind of look you see in movies and shows. It’s the look the protagonist gets when they’re realizing how much they want to kiss the person in front of them. It’s the same look the protagonist gets when they’re about to profess their love. It’s the kind of look the protagonist would have if they were standing at the alter, marrying the love of their life.

It’s the look the protagonist gets when they have feelings for the person they’re looking at.

Oh.

Xukun feels his heart do a small somersault in his chest.

Oh, _no_.

This is not what’s supposed to happen.

They’re nothing more than fuck buddies. They _can’t_ be more than fuck buddies. He averts his eyes and looks at anything but the student sleeping on his lap.

He quickly removes his fingers from the football captain’s hair but in doing so, they gently scrape against Ziyi’s skull, causing him to stir in his sleep. The football captain mutters something as he flips over and wraps his arm around Xukun’s waist.

Xukun’s hand freezes because Ziyi’s face is now on his dick and he’s suddenly not so sick anymore. 

“Mhm, don’t stop.” Ziyi mumbles. “Feels nice.”

Xukun doesn’t have a chance to unfreeze because the door is opening and Yanjun is walking through.

“You’re still here?” He asks in surprise.

“Shh!” Xukun says. “He’s sleeping.”

Ziyi groans and squeezes Xukun’s waist before sitting up.

“Not anymore I’m not.” He says before yawning and resting his head on Xukun’s shoulder.

Xukun stiffens but he doesn’t move away from Ziyi.

“Awww,” Yanjun coos, “aren’t you two just the cutest?”

Xukun ignores that. “Where’s your _live-in_ boyfriend?”

Yanjun closes the door. “In class. It’s Monday.”

“It’s Monday?!” Ziyi exclaims, fully awake now. “Fuck. I have an exam. What time is it?”

“Uh, 12.” Xukun says, looking down at his phone. 

Yanjun and Xukun watch Ziyi as he starts to frantically pick up his books that were all lying around on the coffee table and stuffs them into his bag. He runs into the hall and puts his shoes on before leaving the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

“That guy is so whipp—” Yanjun’s interrupted by Ziyi opening the door.

“Feel better! I’ll text you when you I’m done.” He waves at them and leaves again.

“So, when were you going to tell me that you’re dating Wang Ziyi?”

“When you decided to tell me that you _moved in_ with your boyfriend who you only started dating, like, a day ago.”

Yanjun shoots him a look. “We started dating last month, thank you. So you and Ziyi are dating?”

Xukun gets off the couch. “No, we are not dating.”

“So he just came over to take care of you as a friend?”

“Yes, it’s what friends do.”

That’s what they are. Friends. Just friends. Nothing more.

Nothing more.

“Your friend, Zhengting, kicked you out.” Yanjun says pointedly.

“Because he’s an ass. I’m gonna take a shower then head back to my place.”

“Please do. You smell like a zoo.”

Xukun throws a cushion at him and retreats into the bathroom.

 

❤️

 

Everything changes after that.

For one, Xukun starts to think about Ziyi more. _A lot_ more. Now, the football captain takes up majority of the space in Xukun’s brain. A second doesn’t go by where he’s not thinking about the other or texting him.

And the nights they fuck become more frequent and it’s not just at two or three in the morning anymore. It’s after their games, and after their exams, and sometimes even during the day when they both skip out on class and they have Ziyi’s whole house to themselves.

It’s not just fucking anymore either. They used to do it like they were in a hurry and finish quick but now they take their time, now they do foreplay.

Ziyi starts to get a little more bold after the sick thing as well. At one point he had stopped asking Xukun to stay, to spend the night, because Xukun kept turning him down. But he’s started to ask again.

One night he was drunk and he asked Xukun to stay the night in a small voice. He looked genuinely hurt when Xukun said no and left the room without looking back but that didn’t discourage Ziyi at all. He continued asking and Xukun continued refusing him until one night.

Xukun was sitting up on the bed and getting ready to leave when Ziyi wrapped his arms around him and pulled him down, Xukun’s back now rested against Ziyi’s broad chest.

“Stay tonight, Kunkun.” Ziyi murmured into his ear. “We don’t have class tomorrow.”

Xukun’s heart couldn’t say no to that no matter what his brain told him so he stayed. 

He doesn’t regret it (even though that’s exactly when everything went to shit).

And it starts to become a routine. 

Xukun stays the night and when he does, they _talk_ until they both fall asleep (another rule broken). Well, Ziyi does most of the talking. He’s tried coaxing Xukun into sharing as well but he doesn’t. Xukun usually pretends to fall asleep halfway through but now he knows more about Ziyi than he intended to.

He knows Ziyi’s a rapper and a damn good one at that. He’s also learned that Ziyi wanted to be a dance major but his father didn’t approve so he’s doing business even though he hates it. He has a mixtape he wants to play for Xukun one day. He actually wanted to join the basketball team but it was full so he opted for the football team (Xukun thinks about this fact a lot. Things could have gone so much more differently if they were on the same team. They could have fucked with everyone knowing and maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t feel so embarrassed about all the feelings he was…feeling). He has three brothers and he’s close with all of his family members. He’s a health and gym fanatic and he uses a bunch of products on his face to make it as flawless as it is. He likes to take care of himself and he quietly mentioned that he wanted someone else to take care of as well but Xukun pretended to be asleep when he said that.

He does well in school. He’s not failing any of his classes and he’s able to get enough sleep every night, even when they fuck.

Honestly, he’s a model student and a great football player and Xukun is starting to find out that he is a great person in general.

And that is bad.

Xukun does not want to find him great. He does not want to know more facts about him and find out that Ziyi is goofy and funny and actually really sweet (it’s too late, though. Three and a half months in and he’s found out that Ziyi is funny and charming and sweet).

He’s already so far gone.

The nights he does stay over (which is almost every night), he usually falls asleep after Ziyi and he spends the time trying to fall asleep by looking at Ziyi like a creep. Watching someone sleep isn’t something he thought he would ever do (because it’s c r e e p y) but here is is, watching his weekly (usually nightly) fuck sleep like an angel.

Xukun doesn’t know how it’s possible but Ziyi looks even more gorgeous when he’s sleeping. He looks calm, he always does, but his sleeping calm is different. It’s peaceful and he doesn’t look stressed the way he does when he’s preparing for a game or an exam.

Watching Ziyi sleep isn’t the only habit he’s developed. He watches the football captain during English class too. Ziyi sits towards the front while he sits in the back and he spends the entire two hours staring at the back of his head instead of paying attention in class.

He’s failing the class and it’s completely Ziyi’s fault.

No one knows (and no one will ever know because he will never speak a word of it to anyone) but he’s started going to Ziyi’s games in disguise. He even cheers for him. His dreams about Ziyi have escalated as well. It went from the both of them having sex to the both of them being cute and lovey-dovey. 

He sometimes ( _always_ ) wakes up wishing they were dating.

Xukun knows this is spiralling into dangerous territory he doesn’t want to be in. He knows there’s going to be some kind of consequence for it. He knows that he needs to end things as soon as possible but does he do that? 

Nope.

He finds himself at Ziyi’s every time the football captain texts him to come over. Even if he has something to do, he will immediately go over. He’s cut basketball practices short just to go see him. 

This evening, they are sitting on the floor of Ziyi’s room, doing nothing. Well, not nothing. Ziyi is attempting to study while Xukun tries to distract him. Xukun didn’t come over to be bored for fuck’s sake. He wants to have sex. He keeps nudging Ziyi with his foot but Ziyi is unfazed. He nudges back without looking up from his textbook.

Xukun sighs dramatically and whines, “Ziyiiiiiiiiiiiii. I came to fuck not to watch you study. If I wanted to watch someone study, I would be in my own dorm.”

“10 more minutes, baby.” Ziyi murmurs absentmindedly.

Baby? _Baby_? 

Xukun disregards the way his heart speeds up, the way he flushes, and the way the heat in his cheeks rise. That means nothing. He’s just distracted. The word baby means nothing in itself. The situation doesn’t make it any better. They’re not acting like fuck buddies. Fuck buddies would be fucking right now. Fuck buddies don’t chill while one is doing homework and the other is horny as fuck, practically begging to get fucked. They’re acting like _boyfriends_. Only boyfriends would be doing this shit and only a boyfriend would call him _baby_. 

He stops nudging Ziyi and brings his legs into himself but his heart rate doesn’t slow down.

“I am not your baby.” He blurts out before he can stop himself.

“Huh?” Ziyi looks up. 

“If we’re not fucking I’m out of here.”

“I’m not in the mood and I have a test tomorrow.”

“What? Then why did you ask me to come over?!”

Ziyi avoids his gaze. “I wanted to hang out.”

“That was a rule! No hanging out.” Xukun stands up.

They’ve already broken so many rules. He doesn’t need any more to be broken because the more rules that get broken, the more their situation stops being strictly fuck buddy.

“But no one is here to witness anything!” Ziyi argues. “C’mon, Kun, just—please, just—ugh, fine. Whatever. You can leave.”

“No.” Xukun crosses his arms over his chest. “Say what you wanted to.”

Ziyi gets up. “There’s no reason to. You won’t listen.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Ziyi raises an eyebrow. “I know you more than you’d like. I know that if I ask you to stay, you won’t. I know that you will walk right out of this room and make sure to never see me again.”

He takes a step closer to Xukun, their lips just a breath away from each other.

“I know you’re going to continue acting like you hate me. I know your ass is stubborn and you will never admit that you like me.” Ziyi continues, his hands resting on Xukun’s waist. “What I don’t know is why you’re being stubborn.”

Xukun’s arms drop to his sides and Ziyi looks into his eyes.

Neither of them move for a few beats until Ziyi closes the distance and attaches their lips together.

“You’re wrong.” Xukun mutters.

Ziyi laughs against his lips and _oh_ , oh _no_ , Xukun feels a weird sort of warmth in his heart.

This is the exact moment everything goes to shit because he kisses Ziyi back.

He knows the football captain is right. Everything he said is right. He will never admit to liking Ziyi even though that laugh making his heart warm just confirmed that he does, in fact, like Ziyi. He always knew there was something in his heart for Ziyi. He knew he liked him to an _extent_ but he didn’t know how deep those feelings ran. 

Until this very moment.

Ziyi pulls away saying, “I’m never wrong,” before placing hot, wet kisses all over Xukun’s neck.

“Cocky shit.”

Ziyi laughs once more, his teeth lightly grazing Xukun’s neck, and his heart can’t handle this. That laugh is making his heart and body feel things it shouldn’t. He doesn’t want the feeling of the laugh spreading warmth and tenderness throughout his entire body. He doesn’t like the way it makes his toes curl, except he _does_ like the way it makes him feel.

Ziyi’s hands make their way under Xukun’s shirt and his finger slightly flicks one of his nipples, making Xukun shudder under his touch.

“Finally,” Xukun says and attempts to grind his dick against Ziyi’s.

But Ziyi gives his shoulder a soft kiss before pulling away.

“What are you doing?” Xukun demands.

“Nothing is happening until you agree to a date.”

“A date.”

Ziyi nods.

“With you?”

Ziyi nods again.

Xukun clears his throat and smooths out his shirt.

“Well, I guess I will see you around.” He says and picks up his phone from Ziyi’s nightstand.

He’s about to walk out of the window when Ziyi reaches out and gently pulls him back by his wrist. Ziyi faces him but doesn’t let go.

“Just one date, Kun.” Ziyi says softly. “If things go bad then we won’t do it again.”

Xukun doesn’t dare look at him. He knows that if he does he will say yes. 

“I don’t want to, Ziyi.”

“Why not?” He asks. “Why are you so adamant on hating me?”

“Because we’re not supposed to be anything more than fuck buddies. I _don’t want_ to be anything more than fuck buddies.”

“Kunkun,” he whispers and the way he says his name makes Xukun’s knees buckle underneath him. “Please let me in.”

Xukun swallows and shakes his head. He pushes Ziyi away and makes his way out of Ziyi’s window, not sparing one glance at him.

“Kun, don’t do this.” Ziyi calls out after him.

He doesn’t listen. 

Turns out it can be really fucking hard to fuck without feelings when he actually starts to catch feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i completely forgot that xukun lived in the states for a while.  
> its too late to change the english class to another subject tho jsfsjjs smh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg sorry. i havent had the time to update or answer your comments but just know that your comments give me LIFE. they are what keep me going so thank you so much!!!

Somehow, they manage to get past that _incident_ (sort of).

Ziyi had texted him a stupid meme the night of what happened and they went from there. It’s as if the incident didn’t really happen but it did. It’s why Ziyi hasn’t asked him to come over the past two weeks. It’s why he hasn’t seen Ziyi at all, not in English, not at his place, not anywhere.

Xukun doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s kind of miserable. He’s gotten so used to seeing Ziyi and waking up to his face that now, it feels weird waking up alone. It’s _lonely._ They haven’t texted since the meme and they haven’t spoken on the phone either so he hasn’t heard Ziyi’s soothing voice in two weeks.

He misses Ziyi. More than he wants to.

He just wants to see the football captain and for everything to go back to normal. He wants to fall asleep to Ziyi’s voice and wake up to his messy hair that’s almost always the thing that wakes Xukun up because it tickles him from how close Ziyi's face is next to him.

He wants to text Ziyi but every time he comes close to even attempting to, he chickens out and throws his phone across the room. 

He doesn't know what the hell is wrong with him. He’s never had this kind of problem before.

Xukun groans miserably as he misses yet another shot.

“Where is your head?!” Zeren shouts at him. “Please focus on the game!”

Xukun picks up the ball and throws it at Zeren’s head who ducks just in time. Yanjun grabs his arm and pulls him aside.

“What the fuck is going on?” Yanjun asks him. “Please don’t tell me this has to do with whatever the fuck happened between you and Ziyi.”

Xukun frowns, immediately defensive. “Who the hell says anything happened between us?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the fact that you’ve been a dick to everyone and you haven’t been playing well. The last time you could even make a shot was three weeks ago.”

Xukun remains quiet. There’s really nothing he can say to argue those points.

“Get your shit together, Kun. Don’t make us bench you at next week’s game.”

“ _Bench me_?” Xukun says incredulously. “You can’t _bench_ the captain.”

“Let’s not find out if we can. Go to your dorm. Call him or fuck him or whatever, just be on your A game next week.”

“Whatever.” Xukun rolls his eyes and leaves the court, picking up his bag as he walks away.

He walks into his dorm to find Zhengting and Wenjun furiously making out on _his_ bed. They don’t notice him so he slams the door shut, making them break apart.

“Get off my bad.” He tells them tonelessly. 

“When are you and Ziyi going to work out your problems and leave me alone?” Zhengting asks bitterly but he and Wenjun stand up.

“We don’t have any problems.” Xukun glares.

“Then why haven’t you seen him in the past two weeks?”

“You don’t know that.”

Zhengting rolls his eyes. “Please, you’re so cranky. You’re definitely not getting laid.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Ziyi isn’t doing any better either.” Wenjun interrupts.

“Why are you still here?” Xukun snaps.

“See? Cranky.”

“I’ll see you later, babe.” Wenjun gives Zhengting a small peck on the lips and leaves their dorm.

“Seriously, what is your problem?”

“I don’t have one. Now, fuck off.”

“Whatever it is you did, just apologize to Ziyi and stop being a dick.”

“What makes you think I did anything?” Xukun scowls. “And how the fuck do you two know about us?”

"So it is true. You’ve been seeing him secretly. I thought they might have been stretching the truth.”

Xukun gives him a questioning glance as he throws himself on his bed.

“Ziyi told Zhangjing who told Yanjun and Wenjun. And they both told me.” Zhengting explains. “I think the whole football team knows.”

Great. Another rule broken. For a model student who claims that he doesn't break many rules, he seems to be hell-bent on breaking all of Xukun’s.

“So what’s the problem?” Zhengting asks. “You were happy before this two week sex hiatus thing.”

“The only problem I have is you.”

“At least I’m getting laid.”

Xukun picks up a slipper under his bed and aimlessly throws it at his roommate.

“Stop throwing shit at me!”

“Then stay out of my fucking business!” 

“Fine!” Zhengting glares at him and mutters, “is his dick so damn amazing that it makes you a jackass without it?” under his breath.

Xukun buries his face into his pillow and sighs. 

Whatever.

He shoves everything he’s feeling deep, deep down and he knows this isn’t good or healthy but he’s never been good at coping, so. 

He pushes Ziyi out of his head and focuses on not failing his classes.

 

❤️

A few days later, Zhengting goes away to some dance competition or something (Xukun wasn’t really paying attention when Zhengting told him) and he’s only going to be back Tuesday. So, Xukun has the dorm to himself for a whole weekend and he quickly texts Ziyi (the whole pushing-him-out-of-his-mind and ignoring-his-feelings thing didn’t go as planned), telling him, before he chickens out like he had countless times before. Once he does, he throws his phone face down on his bed and wills the nervous energy in his stomach to calm the hell down. But a few hours pass by and he doesn’t get a response so he lays on his bed, sad as hell.

Maybe it’s really over.

When the time for practice comes, he mentally forces himself to get dressed and head down to the basketball court. He stares at the ceiling for a long moment before he pushes himself off his bed. He starts pulling on a pair of sweatpants when someone knocks on his door. He quickly throws on a loose tank top and goes to open it.

Standing in front of him is Ziyi dressed in a tight shirt and skinny jeans. His hair is unbraided and hanging loosely (the way Xukun loves it) and he has a small smile on his face. God, he missed that smile, missed that fucking beautiful face.

Xukun wants to kiss that smile right off Ziyi’s face but he refrains. So h e just smiles back and steps aside to let Ziyi in.

“You’re messy.” Is the first thing out of the football captain’s mouth when Xukun closes the door behind them.

“You can leave,” Xukun says, opening the door.

“Never,” Ziyi grins widely. “I told the guys I was going home for the weekend so you’re stuck with me until Tuesday. We have to make up for the past few weeks.”

“Whose fault is that?” Xukun shuts the door and glares. “We have English on Monday.”

“It’s not like you texted me either. We can skip English. I have an A+ in that class anyway.”

“Well, I’m failing.” _Thanks to you._

Ziyi stares. “It’s the easiest class to pass. No one is failing.”

“ _I_ am.”

“Well,” Ziyi looks around. “Looks like we’re going to spend the weekend getting you up to speed. Did you start the essay due next week?”

“Noooooooo!” Xukun cries, slumping down on his bed. “No English. No school work. Just fucking. All weekend.”

_I’ve been so deprived, please have mercy on me and fuck me._

Ziyi looks at him for a few moments before pursing his lips. “Tell you what. I will quiz you and for every question you get right, you get a kiss or touch. And for every sentence you complete for the essay, I will remove a piece of clothing. If you finish, I will fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to walk into class on Monday.”

Xukun groans dramatically. “You’ve been promising to fuck me hard enough to disable my legs for weeks but you haven’t done it. You’re all talk.”

Ziyi leans against his and Zhengting’s desk. “Finish that essay and I will.”

“What does my grade matter to you anyway? I’m just supposed to be your fuck buddy.”

Ziyi seems to falter at the question. He quickly looks away from Xukun and stands up straight.

“I consider us friends, Kun, even if you don’t. I don’t want you to be failing.” The football captain says but he’s still avoiding eye contact.

“Why are we in the same class anyway? You’re older.”

Ziyi shrugs. “I dropped out of the class every semester.”

“For 2 years?”

“Yes, now do we have a deal or what?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Great,” Ziyi smiles, his eyes back on Xukun. “We’ll start with grammar.”

Xukun whimpers and buries his face into his pillow but he doesn’t get to stay down for long because Ziyi’s strong arms wrap around him and forces him to sit up straight.

“C’mon, Kun. It’s going to be fun.”

But it’s not fun because Xukun really doesn’t know any of the answers to, well, anything. He really hasn’t paid attention in class at all. He knows basic grammar and basic English but Ziyi is asking him hard questions. 

“Okay, let’s do the essay then take a break.”

Xukun brightens. “A fuck break?”

“A _dinner_ break.”

“I can have your sausage. It will fill me up.”

Ziyi looks scandalized before he starts laughing. It’s the hardest Xukun has seen him laugh and it’s a pretty sight. Ziyi covers his mouth with his hand as he laughs but his eyes crinkle cutely and Xukun’s sure that the sound of his laugh can cure all incurable diseases. That’s how fucking beautiful his laugh is and Xukun is looking at him the same way he was that day Ziyi was sleeping in his lap but this time with more affection.

Xukun can watch him laugh for the rest of his life, for as long as Ziyi will let him.

He immediately shakes the thought away.

He’s in way too damn deep.

“Man, that wasn’t even funny. I need food.” Ziyi says once he stops laughing. “Let’s go eat now.”

“We don’t have to go anywhere.” Xukun says. “We can order in.”

He pulls out a box with all the fast food coupons he’s collected from under his bed and hands it to Ziyi.

“I’m in the mood for anything. Pick what you want.”

Ziyi takes the box and looks inside it.

“You really don’t want to be seen out in public with me, huh?” Ziyi mutters and Xukun’s heart constricts just a little. “Why do you have so many?”

“Unlike you, some of us are broke college students.”

“Let’s just go out to eat. I’ll pay.”

“You can go by yourself.”

“Do these coupons even work? I thought you have to purchase something in person.”

Xukun shakes his head, “nah, it works.”

“Okay, let’s get pizza.” He pulls out a coupon and holds it up for Xukun.

“No way. Wang Ziyi eats pizza?” Xukun says mockingly.

Ziyi rolls his eyes. “I have my cheat days too.”

“Uh huh.” Xukun takes the coupon and calls them, placing in their order.

Once Xukun hangs up he says, “I’m gonna take a shower. Wanna join?”

“Fuck yes.” Ziyi immediately stands up.

Xukun suppresses a smile and grabs his towel and shampoo before leaving the dorm with Ziyi. They walk down the hall to the co-ed bathrooms and the second they strip down and step into the shower, Ziyi’s hands and lips are on him.

“I missed you.” Ziyi murmurs against his neck.

“I missed you too.” Xukun blurts out.

Ziyi pulls away and grins. “Did you now?”

“Oh, shut up.” Xukun says and kisses Ziyi.

The football captain laughs against his lips and brings Xukun’s body impossibly closer to his own. Xukun feels Ziyi’s already hardened dick against his own and groans.

“Hard already?” He grins.

“Can you blame me?” Ziyi asks nibbling on his bottom lip. “I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

His response is swallowed down (before he can actually say anything) when Ziyi kisses his way down his chest and abdomen before he stops at Xukun’s dick. He licks the tip before putting it in his mouth. He settles on his knees as his hands hold onto Xukun's thighs for a firm grip.

Xukun’s fingers immediately find their way in Ziyi’s hair. Their eyes lock as Ziyi's tongue and moth move slowly, so torturously slowly, up and down his dick.

"Ziyi, I swear to god. If you go any slower." Xukun threatens in a strangled voice. "It's been forever."

Ziyi smirks around his dick before pulling away and saying, "you cum when I want you to."

"Not today! Ziyi, please."

"Since you asked so nicely." Ziyi shoots him a grin as he slides his lips around Xukun's dick, deliberately slow once again.

Xukun groans when Ziyi takes in his dick, all of it. The tip of it hits the back of Ziyi's throat and it feels so amazing. Xukun's knees buckle and his fingers tighten around the football captain's hair.

"H-holy shit," Xukun stutters out.

Ziyi doesn't stop. He deep throats Xukun until his eyes are tearing up and Xukun's legs are shaking.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

The football captain starts to suck slowly, the base of his throat hitting Xukun's dick every single time, as he starts to stroke his own dick. Xukun throws his head back, painfully hitting the wall, as he shuts his eyes and gets ready to cum. He's not going to last for much longer. He knows he's not.

His tip touches the back of Ziyi's throat for a third time and he cums. His whole buddy shudders but Ziyi continues sucking and swallowing while pumping his own dick.

"F-f-fuck, Ziyi, Z-ziyi, I can't stand." Xukun groans out. "Fuck."

Ziyi shortly cums after him and pulls his mouth off of Xukun's dick. Xukun slides down the wall and sits down on the shower floor, his whole body numb. Ziyi sits down too, his legs resting over Xukun's.

"This shower is tiny." Ziyi observes.

Xukun laughs and lazily kisses Ziyi. The football captain smiles against his lips and brings him closer, his hands resting against Xukun's cheeks.

"That was incredible." Xukun murmurs.

"You're incredible." Ziyi whispers and pulls away. "Can you shampoo yourself?"

Xukun shakes his head. "I wanna sleep."

The football captain squirts out some shampoo on Xukun's head and starts massaging. The blond closes his eyes and sighs contentedly.

"Feels nice." He mumbles.

"You are a giant baby but you're my baby." Ziyi whispers so softly that Xukun's ears barely catch it but his brain is asleep so it doesn't register.

Xukun feels Ziyi rinse him off and start to shampoo his own head. He's slowly starting to fall asleep when Ziyi shakes him lightly. He pouts and keeps his eyes shut.

"C'mon, you have an essay to write." Ziyi tells him, his voice warm and fond.

Xukun makes a face and opens his eyes. Ziyi is looking at him with a slight smile on his face. He quickly looks away when he feels his heart rate speed up. He stands up, Ziyi doing the same.

Oh. The shower _is_ tiny. They're still in each other's personal space and Ziyi's hot breath against the side of his neck is making his body shiver in pleasure. He grabs his towel and moves away from Ziyi, and out of the damn shower before things get _intimate_. And not in the physical way.

"You want to do it for me?" Xukun asks as he wraps a towel around his torso.

"What's in it for me?"

Xukun gestures towards himself. "Uh, this body?"

Ziyi chuckles as they make their way out of the bathroom. "Tempting but the prof will know you didn't write it."

When they walk back to the dorm, Linkai is waiting for them with their pizza.

“You owe me.” Linkai says and thrusts the pizza at him. 

“You want a coupon?” Xukun asks.

Linkai shoots him a dirty look. “No, I don’t want a fucking coupon. I want you to pay me back asap or the team’s gonna know about you two.”

He points menacingly at them and walks into his dorm, a few doors down, and slams his door shut.

“So your team still hates me.” Ziyi comments as they walk into Xukun’s dorm.

“As if yours doesn’t hate me.” He snorts and places the pizza on his desk.

“They need to drop their act.” Ziyi shakes his head. “Linkai is dating Xingjie and half of my team is doing yours.”

Xukun makes a face. “Gross. They need higher standards.”

“You wound me, Kun.” Ziyi places a hand over his heart, feigning hurt. “Is it the same for you?”

Xukun looks at him and smirks. “Maybe.”

“Ah, my heart, it’s breaking.” The football captain cries dramatically, clutching his heart as he goes down. 

Xukun rolls his eyes as he wraps the towel around his head the way he’s only seen girls do and takes a pizza slice. He plops down on the floor, his back resting against his bed, and looks at Ziyi to find the other already looking back at him.

“Like what you see?” Xukun teases. 

“I was going to mock you for wrapping the towel around your head because you barely have any hair but yes. I do like what I see.” Ziyi says and sits next to him with the pizza. “You look pretty.”

“It prevents water from dripping on to my _dry_ clothes!” He defends. “And I have a lot of hair!”

“With the way you dye it every month, you won’t have much of it left.”

Xukun sticks his tongue out at him. “Rude.”

“And you say you’re not adorable.” Ziyi quickly bops Xukun’s nose with his index finger then bites into his pizza, acting as if he didn’t just do the most cringe-y thing on the planet.

Xukun stares at him but Ziyi is avoiding his eyes.

“Never do that again.”

“You hear about that bet Zhou Rui has going on?” Ziyi asks, purposely changing the topic.

“Yeah, I saw it on the website and he keeps texting me.”

“Me too. He wants to know when the hell we’re going to date.” 

Xukun takes another slice and bites into it. “Tell him it’s not happening.”

“If it’s not then what are we doing right now?”

He stops chewing and looks at Ziyi. “Eating. Fuck buddies eat.”

“Alone, in your room? After I helped you study and give you a blowjob in the shower?” Ziyi raises his eyebrows.

“Why do you want to complicate things?” Xukun sighs.

“Whatever we have now is complicated. I’m trying to simplify things.”

“Adding feelings and other people into it isn’t going to simplify things. It’s going to _complicate_ things.”

Ziyi is right (when isn’t he?). It would make things so much easier if everyone knew. He wouldn’t have to sneak out of a three story building every single night and they wouldn’t have to hide what they’re doing. They wouldn’t have to sneak around but Xukun isn’t ready to add _feelings_ to the mix. He isn’t prepared to see how their relationship will blossom or fail once they add feelings. He’s not ready for that yet.  His last relationship ended because his ex pushed him when he wasn’t ready and his ex was moving way too fast.  Ziyi is moving too fast, too. Okay, sure, they’ve been fucking and hanging out together for months now but he isn’t ready mentally. Plus, it’s Ziyi’s last year. He’s graduating and Xukun doesn’t want to start anything when he knows it’s going to end. Ziyi’s going to go back to Beijing or even America once he graduates and Xukun is going to be stuck in Changsha until he graduates (provided he even finds a job outside of Changsha _after_ he graduates). In two whole years. How are they going to make a long distance relationship work?

He isn’t ready for all of that. 

He’s definitely not ready to open up his heart just to have it stomped on when Ziyi leaves.

“Doesn’t the group chat Zhou Rui created with you and me and the other girls annoy you? They never shut up.” Ziyi says.

Looks like Ziyi does know more about Xukun than he lets on because Xukun did not want to continue the relationship conversation and seems like Ziyi sensed it so he changed the subject again.

Just another fact that complicates things even more. 

“I tried leaving but they kept adding me back in so I muted it.” Xukun tells him. “You should try the mute button. It’s mankind’s greatest creation.”

“So, it’s a no to the dating?”

Xukun looks at him and Ziyi looks hopeful but when he nods, Ziyi’s face falls. He nods curtly and jams the rest of his pizza into his mouth.

“Let’s finish your essay, then, before I leave.”

Xukun frowns. “Leave? I thought I was stuck with you.”

“Do you even want to be stuck with me?”

_Yes_. “No.”

Ziyi doesn’t say anything and they finish their dinner in silence.

Once they’re done eating, Xukun starts on his essay and Ziyi does keep up his end of the deal. With every sentence, Xukun completes, Ziyi removes a piece of clothing. They do that in silence as well. The only thing that can be heard is Xukun’s fingers against the keyboard and it looks like Ziyi wants to talk but it seems like he decides against it. He keeps his lips pursed the entire time but his eyes twinkle with lust every time their eyes meet. Xukun does his best not to ogle Ziyi’s body and dick but whenever he looks up, he feels his sweats get damp.

It’s almost midnight when Xukun finishes and Ziyi is entirely naked. He’s sitting comfortably on Xukun’s bed with his legs spread out. Xukun’s eyes travel down to Ziyi’s dick to find it already hard. He feel his own dick twitch. He briskly pushes his laptop away and climbs on top of Ziyi, kissing him roughly as he does so. Ziyi’s hands immediately latch on to Xukun’s waist and his mouth opens for him. Xukun snakes his tongue into Ziyi’s mouth as the other flips them over so that Xukun is the one lying underneath him. The kiss becomes hot and needy in only a matter of seconds. 

“I’m going to make sure you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.” Ziyi pants into his mouth.

“Please,” Xukun whines.

Ziyi grins, pecking Xukun’s lips once more, before making a hickey on his neck.

“No hickeys! Ziyi!” Xukun means for that to be angry but he just ends up moaning out Ziyi’s name instead.

The football captain chuckles as he lightly bites down on another patch of skin.

 

\---

 

Ziyi falls asleep immediately after he comes inside Xukun. He doesn’t even pull out. Xukun slowly pulls himself off of Ziyi’s dick and pulls the comforter over him. He looks down at the peaceful football captain and sighs. 

He wishes he could have this with no strings. No fear for the future. No commitment issues. 

He brushes a few strands of hair away from Ziyi’s face and gently cups his cheek, causing the other to smile slightly at the touch. Xukun pulls away when Ziyi’s fingers delicately wrap around his wrist. 

The football captain tugs Xukun’s hand (along with his heartstrings) to his chest, and brings Xukun down against him.

He warmly and very sleepily says, “sleep, Kunkun.”

Well, he can’t argue with a very sleepy and adorable Ziyi now, can he?

He pulls the comforter over himself and goes to sleep, his forehead resting against Ziyi’s.

 

\---

 

Xukun wakes up to someone incessantly knocking on the door. He aggressively rubs his eyes open to see Ziyi standing in nothing but a towel and turning the knob.

“No! Ziyi! Don’t open it!” Xukun yells, barreling out of his bed and falling to the floor, but it’s too late.

He’s opened the door and standing in front of them is Yanjun. He looks at half-naked Ziyi and shoots Xukun a look. Xukun exhales and stands up.

Oh, Ziyi kept his promise. His ass and legs are _sore_.

“You’re not sleeping with him, huh?” His best friend says sarcastically then covers his eyes and shouts, “put on some fucking clothes, Xukun!”

Xukun looks down at himself and remembers that he is naked. He throws on a pair of shorts and a shirt.

“That’s my shirt.” Ziyi informs him after he closes the door.

Huh. It is. It’s big on him and smells like Ziyi. He forces himself not to bring the bottom of the shirt to his nose and inhale.

“Well, wear another one.”

“I didn’t bring any other clothes.”

“You want to stay for the weekend but only brought the shirt you were wearing?”

Ziyi shrugs, “I wasn’t exactly planning on wearing any clothing for the entire weekend, if you know what I mean,” he says and winks at Xukun.

“We know what you mean.” Yanjun says and makes a gagging sound.

Xukun shoves him and tells Ziyi, “just wear something of mine.”

“You think your clothes will fit me? I’m three times your size.”

“You are not three times my size.” Xukun scoffs and pulls out a hoodie from his closet.

He throws it at Ziyi, who catches it flawlessly.

Ziyi puts it on and smiles broadly. “It fits.”

It makes Xukun’s insides all fuzzy and warm and shit to see the other wearing something that belongs to him.

“ _Now_ are you two dating?” Yanjun asks, staring at them. “Is that why you’ve been skipping practice?”

“You’ve been skipping practice? For me?” Ziyi questions and Xukun can’t figure out what his tone is saying.

He sounds touched? Cheerful? Delighted? Happy? His eyes definitely show that he’s touched.

Xukun looks away from him. “Listen. What are you doing here, Jun?” 

“I thought you were dead. We all thought you were dead. You didn’t come to practice yesterday and your phone was off.” Yanjun says.

“Actually my phone is dead and Zhengting has my charger.” Xukun remarks. “But I’m fine. You can leave.”

Yanjun sits on Zhengting bed and grins up at them. “I’m not leaving. The guys and I have a pool going and I won. Give me all the details.”

Xukun stares at him in annoyance. “No! No one is going to find out. I will slice your dick off.”

“That threat worked on me when we were kids but not anymore. If you won’t tell me, I’ll just take a picture.” Yanjun pulls out his phone.

“How much did you win?” Xukun asks through gritted teeth.

“800 yuan.”

“My team has a bet going too. They think I don’t know.” Ziyi says, standing next to Xukun.

They ignore him.

“You can tell them if I get half.” Xukun says.

Ziyi pulls on a pair of Xukun’s sweats and heads to the door. “I’m getting breakfast. Want anything, baby?” 

“Baby?” Yanjun inquires. “It’s 2 in the afternoon.”

Xukun glares at Ziyi but the football captain just winks and blows him a kiss before closing the door behind him.

“I thought you weren’t dating.” Yanjun accuses. 

“We’re not!” Xukun says through his teeth. “Now leave before he comes back.”

“Yeah, and why exactly is he staying for the weekend?”

Xukun shrugs nonchalantly. “He told his teammates he was going home for the weekend so he could spend it with me.”

“Why are you guys hiding whatever the hell it is you’re doing?” Yanjun asks. 

“Because we agreed to keep it on the down-low.”

“You mean _you_ agreed to that. Ziyi told us about you two.”

“I know!” Xukun glowers. “And you told Zhengting. I’m supposed to be your best friend. Not my roommate.”

Yanjun looks away guiltily. “In my defence, it was Zhangjing who told Wenjun. I just didn’t stop him. _And_ Ziyi’s the one who opened his big mouth in the first place. He clearly wants something more.”

Xukun sighs and rubs his forehead. “I know. But I don’t. Can I go one day without people talking to me about what I want or what Ziyi wants?”

Yanjun regards him for a few moments before saying, “you’re happy with him. Why don’t you want something more?”

“Nope.” Xukun shakes his head. “Not talking about it.”

Yanjun glares at him. “You just said you’re my best friend, so speak.”

“Yeah but I didn’t say you’re mine.”

“Wow. You’ve been demoted. I’m promoting Zhangjing to best friend.”

“Get out of here before Ziyi gets back.” Xukun pulls him off Zhengting’s bed and pushes him out the door. “Don’t tell the team or I’ll tell Zhangjing all your fucking secrets.”

“That’s why I came over. Zhangjing wants to double date with you and Ziyi.”

“Not happening.” He closes the door in Yanjun’s face and lets out a haggard sigh.

Ziyi returns shortly after that with two breakfast bagels and coffee.

“I don’t drink coffee.” Xukun tells him but takes the bagel.

“It’s for me.” Ziyi says. “I have two exams to study for.”

“Ugh, more work?” Xukun whines and Ziyi laughs.

He’s looking at Xukun fondly and it makes Xukun’s heart hurt.

He looks down at his bagel, pretending to be fascinated by it, and Ziyi ruffles his hair as he walks past him to sit on Xukun’s bed.

“You doing anything for the Christmas and New Year holidays?” Ziyi asks.

Xukun shakes his head. “It’s just me and my mom and she’s going to spend it with her new man in Hawaii so I’m going to be here with my sad, sad self.”

“Why don’t you go with them?”

Xukun makes a face. “That’s gross. They’re going to be gross. He’s leaving his teenagers at home too.”

Ziyi looks nervous and he hesitates for a few moments before saying, “I’m not going back home either. Want to spend the time together?”

He blinks at Ziyi. 

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. Of course he wants to spend a whole week with Ziyi but he doesn’t want more _feelings_ (he knows he’s being repetitive but really, that’s the one thing holding him back) to make their way to his heart and soul. He doesn’t need to fall deeper than he already is. A few more feet and he won’t be able to dig himself out of the inevitable hole.

“Why aren’t you going home?” Xukun questions. “You have three brothers and two parents and grandparents.”

“So you do listen when I talk.” Ziyi smirks for a split second before it falters. “My brothers are spending it with their wives in different countries and my parents are going to spend it with my dad’s side of the family. I don’t like them.”

“And your grandparents?”

Ziyi shrugs. “They’re going with my parents.”

“Well, I guess. If you’re going to be here too then there’s no reason to ignore you.” Xukun says, somewhat reluctantly.

And just like that, Ziyi looks incredibly happy. “We’re spending it at my place, though. Your dorm is tiny.”

“Hey!” Xukun frowns, defensively throwing his wrapper at the other. “It’s not my fault _we_ don’t get a house. You privileged assholes.”

“We deserve it.” Ziyi states proudly.

Xukun rolls his eyes. “My ass you deserve it. The basketball team hasn’t lost a game all semester but the football team has.”

“Oh?” Ziyi tilts his head to the side. “So you do watch my games.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. Yanjun is dating Zhangjing so he tells me that you guys _suck_.”

“You like it when I suck." Ziyi grins smugly. “Want to help me study?”

“I really, really don’t.” Xukun takes his garbage and Ziyi’s and throws it into the trash. “I’m gonna go to practice before they kick me off the team.”

“I’m really flattered you missed so many practices for me.”

“Shut up.” He mutters as he picks up his sports bag.

Ziyi’s adorable laugh is the last thing he hears as he closes the door.

He makes his way to the court to find all the guys waiting for him. He looks down at his watch and frowns. 

“I’m three hours early. Why is everyone here?” Xukun asks.

“Yanjun told us something very interesting.” Zeren says.

Xukun glares at his best friend. “Did he now?”

“Yeah! He’s dating Zhangjing, the enemy.” One of his teammates exclaims.

Xukun’s frown disappears and is replaced with a questioning glance at Yanjun. His best friend shrugs at him.

“Okay, so what’s the problem?” Xukun asks.

“The problem is that we didn’t agree on this.” The newbie says.

“Newbie, listen, it’s—”

“Justin, my name is Justin!” He interrupts. “It’s the easiest name.”

“It’s English and I’m failing English.” Xukun remarks matter-of-factly and continues. “This is getting out of hand. You’re all allowed to stick your dicks into what ever consenting adult you want. Half of you are already screwing the football team. I know about you and Chengcheng.”

He only knows because Ziyi told him. Ziyi’s told him a lot about the football team that he wishes he didn’t. The newbie frowns and shuts his mouth. Finally.

Yanjun mouths a ‘thanks’ to him and Xukun nods.

“We going to practice or you guys going to continue acting like a bunch of pricks?” Xukun asks but no one answers. “If you don’t practice, you will be benched at next week’s game. I’m not bluffing.”

His teammates quickly disperse as Yanjun comes to stand next to him. 

“If you want to keep a low profile with Ziyi, getting him to come to practice isn’t smart.” Yanjun says.

“What?”

Yanjun nods his head at the bleachers and Xukun looks to find Ziyi sitting there, textbook in hand, but he’s looking right back at Xukun. Once their eyes meet, Ziyi waves at him. Xukun awkwardly waves back.

“Just come out, Kun.” Yanjun says to him. “Ziyi’s hot, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m not ashamed. Now get your ass in defence.”

Yanjun rolls his eyes but does as he’s told.

Practice doesn’t go as well as he was hoping. With Ziyi’s eyes on him, he’s self-conscious and a nervous fucking wreck. He messes up on more than one occasion. He doesn’t understand why the hell he’s so damn nervous. It’s never happened to him before and it’s not even an actual game. It’s just practice. If he’s this much of a wreck with Ziyi watching him here, he doesn’t even want to imagine what he would be like if Ziyi actually comes to one of his games (he’s always asking if he can come and Xukun always tells him ‘no’). He decides he can’t do this with Ziyi here when he almost trips and twists his ankle. 

“Practice is over!” Xukun yells in frustration when he does actually trip. He’s had enough of this humiliation for one day. “See you tomorrow.”

He storms into the locker rooms to get dressed. Once he steps outside, Ziyi is waiting for him.

“I thought you were supposed to be good.” Ziyi says, visibly holding in a laugh.

“Shut the hell up. I was…nervous and sore as hell.”

Ziyi’s eyes light up. “Nervous because I was there?”

Xukun shoves him away but Ziyi just comes back into his space and puts his arm around Xukun’s shoulders.

Ziyi leans in close, his lips jus barely grazing Xukun’s ear and whispers, “I think it’s kinda hot you were nervous because of me.”

Xukun flushes, the husky sound of Ziyi’s voice going straight to his dick, and shoves him away again. This time Ziyi goes but he’s grinning.

“You’re so cute, Kunkun.” He says quietly, ruffling Xukun’s hair.

Xukun swats his hand away and walks faster.

 

❤️

 

The next two days pass by the same as the first.

They spend most of their time studying and doing assignments. Ziyi spends most of his time studying and doing assignments and forcing Xukun to do the same. He does the bare minimum and plays games on his phones when Ziyi isn’t looking.

It’s all so fucking _domestic_.

Ziyi cooks for them and takes Xukun’s clothes down to the laundry room. He washes the dishes and cleans the place and makes Xukun use his 9398 skincare products. They only fuck at night like an old married couple because during the day they act like love-sick live-in boyfriends.

If strangers were to look at their relationship from the outside, they would undoubtedly believe that they’re dating or even married.

Xukun doesn’t know how to feel about this but he does know that he has the best weekend he has had in a while. He almost doesn’t want it to end but Monday night comes too soon (they did actually skip English class. Ziyi wanted to go because he doesn’t want Xukun missing any more English and possibly failing but Xukun can be pretty persuasive when he wants to be).

They hung out as friends and Xukun understands why Ziyi wanted to do this all along. It was fun and Xukun would be lying if he said he didn’t want to do it again.

Ziyi’s standing at the door and ready to go (he’s still wearing Xukun’s hoodie and it’s his favourite hoodie. He wants to ask for it back but it makes him warm to see Ziyi wearing it. The football captain fills out better too) but it seems like he doesn’t want to leave. And honestly speaking, Xukun doesn’t want him to leave either.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks.” Ziyi says, placing his hand on Xukun’s waist.

“A few weeks?” Xukun whines before he can stop himself.

The corners of Ziyi’s mouth tug upwards. “Don’t worry. Once finals are over, we’re going to spend a whole week together.”

He pulls Xukun close, their chests now touching.

“Can I come to your game next weekend?” Ziyi asks tentatively.

“No!” Xukun says quickly. “No. Never!”

If he can’t practice with Ziyi there, he does not want to see what happens during an actual game with Ziyi there.

“Don’t miss me too much, then.” Ziyi whispers before placing a soft peck on Xukun’s bottom lip.

“In your dreams.” Xukun says against his lips.

“You’re always in my dreams.”

Ziyi smiles before kissing him again and letting go. He gently ruffles Xukun hair and leaves without looking back.

Xukun closes the door and slumps against it.

He sighs.

He is fucked.

He is truly and honestly fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the bj part kinda sucked sorry for that jshfjsjs
> 
> im on vacation so i probably wont be able to post for a while :(((


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jfc so so sorry for taking so long to update.
> 
> i was planning on updating sooner but my plans never work out.

The next three weeks without Ziyi pass by agonizingly slow.

Xukun hadn’t realized just how much time he actually spends with Ziyi on a daily basis. They spent almost every waking moment together that now it feels like a part of him is missing. The three weeks without him feel like three years and he misses Ziyi. _A lot_. They don’t see each other at all. They spend time texting and sometimes FaceTiming but it’s not the same. He wants to see Ziyi’s face in person and kiss his lips and fall asleep next to him the way he has been since they started this whole thing. He doesn’t even see the football captain in English. What the hell is he doing skipping the class when their exam is so soon? He texted Ziyi, asking him, but didn’t get a response. 

The only upside to being away from Ziyi is that he focuses completely on basketball and schoolwork. Without Ziyi to distract him, he actually studies and passes most of his exams.

By some miracle, he even passes English class. 

 

❤️

 

It’s the last game of the semester and Xukun has the ball in his hands. There’s only a few seconds left on the board. He gets that ball into the net and they’ll win. 

He takes a deep breath and shoots. The ball goes into the net and he has an overwhelming surge of emotions. He wishes Ziyi were here to see him shoot the winning goal. He wishes he could run into Ziyi’s arms and celebrate with him. He knows Ziyi would be proud of him and he’d give the basketball captain the fond smile he usually gives when when thinks Xukun isn’t looking at him from the corner of his eye.

Xukun gets snapped out of his thoughts when the crowd goes wild and his team runs up to him. They’re cheering and hugging and hifiving him but all he can focus on is someone in the crowd yelling out his name. The person sounds like Ziyi. He forces himself out of the weird group hug his teammates pulled him into and looks around the court, trying to find the voice, trying to find Ziyi. But the football captain is nowhere in sight.

He shakes his head and frowns. He’s just hearing things because he wanted Ziyi to be here for his final game. 

“C’mon, let’s celebrate!” One of his teammates says into his ear before running off into the hallway with the rest of them.

Xukun looks around once more but there’s no sign of Ziyi so he follows his team into the hall. His teammates run into the locker room and Xukun opens the door only to be pulled back by a hand on his arm. Startled, Xukun wrenches his arm away and gets ready to punch the person when he sees Ziyi grinning brightly at him.

He feels a sudden flare of happiness light up throughout his body. It’s so strong that it scares him. He’s never felt this way about seeing someone. He’s never been so happy just to see a  _face_. But it isn’t just any face. It’s Ziyi’s face. The face he longed to see the past three weeks. The face he won’t object to continue seeing in the future.

“What the hell, Ziyi!” Xukun lets out a breath, bringing his fist down. “I almost broke your pretty face.”

Ziyi’s grin widens. “You think I’m pretty?”

Xukun rolls his eyes (but he’s smiling and his eyes are beaming) and the football captain wraps his arm around him, bringing Xukun in for a hug.

“You shot the winning goal!” Ziyi says excitedly. “I’m prou—”

Xukun pulls away, his eyes wide. “You were there?”

“Of course.” Ziyi says then exhales. “I know you didn’t want me there but I was quiet. No one even noticed me.”

Xukun’s heart beats a little faster as it swells with elation.

“Thanks for coming.” He whispers so quietly that Ziyi had to pull him back in for a hug to hear.

“You’re welcome, Kunkun,” then he drops his voice several octaves. “Now I can fuck you for days.”

Xukun turns crimson and attempts to push Ziyi away but Ziyi keeps his hold. He hugs Xukun a little bit tighter and he smells so good. Xukun wants to bury his face into the curve of Ziyi’s neck and never let go. But he’s afraid someone will see them. He leans in for a brief moment before sighing.

“Ziyi, stop.”

“Boo,” He pouts against Xukun’s cheek, “You’re no fun.”

Ziyi pulls away but he’s still close enough for their lips to brush against one another.

“The team is leaving in a few days and you can come by then.” Ziyi pauses. “Unless…You wanna come sooner?”

Xukun shakes his head. “No.”

Ziyi’s shoulders slump. “Fine. But you can come naked. No clothes needed. You can wear mine.”

“Why?”

“You looked cute and small in my shirt. I want to see you looking cute and small all the time.” Ziyi quickly kisses his cheek. “I’ll see you in a few days then.”

He winks at Xukun and swiftly walks away. Xukun watches him go.

It’s definitely Ziyi’s ass that’s keeping him in this relationship (?).

 

❤️  


 

The time to head over to Ziyi’s comes sooner than anticipated.

Despite Ziyi telling him to come naked and with no clothes, he packs a bag and makes his way to the football team’s house. He’s relieved to see that there are no cars in the driveway. They all left, thank god. He raises his hand to ring the doorbell but it’s opening before he can. Ziyi is standing in front of him in nothing but loose sweatpants that are showing the outline of his dick really nicely.

Ziyi’s whole face lights up and it breaks out into a smile when he sees it’s Xukun. He grabs Xukun’s waist and pulls him inside, closing the door with his foot.

“You didn’t come naked.” Ziyi pouts and Xukun lightly smacks his chest.

“You really wanted me to walk naked for 10 minutes? I would have gotten kidnapped.”

“See, if you worked out like I tell you to, you could get some muscles and fight off your kidnappers.”

“What are your muscles good for then?”

He laughs and takes Xukun’s bag and places it on the stairs before leading them into the kitchen. Xukun follows.

“I made dinner.” Ziyi announces.

“Is it healthy?” Xukun asks once they stop at the dinning table.

“Yes.”

Xukun makes a face and mumbles, “you hate me.”

They sit down.

“I could never hate you.” Ziyi says seriously, his eyes on the other.

Xukun’s heart leaps in his chest and he feels his neck heat up. He ducks his head down, knowing Ziyi will tease him for the way his face is starting to turn red.

“You’re so cute when you blush.” Ziyi says.

Xukun doesn’t even have to look up to know that the football captain is wearing a smug smile. He flicks a piece of carrot at Ziyi who lets out an indignant squeak. Xukun looks up and sees a small red spot in the middle of Ziyi’s forehead.

“Bullseye.” He grins.

Ziyi sticks out his bottom lip and it’s the most endearing thing ever. Xukun’s heart can’t handle it. He quickly looks away again before he jumps the football captain right then and there. He picks up his chopsticks and quickly starts to stuff his mouth.

“Did you pass your classes?” Ziyi asks. “Eat slower, Kun. I don’t want you choking on me.”

Xukun nods and swallows. “I even passed English. I don’t know how that’s possible because the exam wasn’t 60% of our grade and I didn’t do any of the other assignments.”

Ziyi smiles like he has a secret that he doesn’t want Xukun in on.

“Maybe it was the essay.” He shrugs.

Xukun narrows his eyes. “Maybe.”

“What’s your major? All these months together and I don’t know anything about you.”

“Because we agreed to be fuck buddies nothing more.” Xukun tells him pointedly.

“Fuck _buddies_. Notice the word buddies? Implies that we are buddies, friends.”

“You are insufferable.” Xukun says which causes Ziyi to grin lopsidedly at him. “Accounting.”

“Accounting?” Ziyi makes a face. “That sounds boring and not like you. Why did you take English? It’s not a requirement.”

“Oh, please, as if business is any better. But it is boring. I didn’t want to come to university. My mom forced me and Jun told me to take English in case I ever deal with clients abroad.”

“Your mom forced you into University so you plan on flunking out?”

“I was doing well in all my classes, thank you.” Xukun defends, affronted. “English was the only one I was failing.”

He leaves the _because of you and your big head_ part out.

Ziyi looks at him knowingly. “Because of me?”

“No!” Xukun says way too quickly. “Not because of you. Because I suck at English. It’s a hard language.”

“I’ll believe that.” Ziyi hums but it’s clear that he doesn’t.

“Whatever, you big head.” Xukun mumbles under his breath.

“Did you…Did you just call me a big head?”

“I did and what about it.”

“Well, then no dessert for you.”

“Were you the dessert?” Xukun asks, his eyes boring into Ziyi’s.

Ziyi bites his bottom lip. “No.”

“Then I’m good.” He picks up his empty plate and puts it in the sink.

When he turns around, he startles. Ziyi has him pinned against the sink, his hands resting on either side of him. 

“How the fuck did you make no noise?” Xukun asks in bewilderment. 

Ziyi gets impossibly closer. “Sneaking around with you these past months have given me practice.”

Ziyi doesn’t wait for him to respond. He simply leans down and kisses Xukun. It’s not like the other kisses they’ve shared so far. This one is tender and dare he say, loving.

It makes Xukun’s insides melt and his head spin.

Xukun places his hands on Ziyi’s firm ass and brings him closer, their crotches now touching, as he deepens the kiss.

Ziyi lets out a low moan against his lips, and in one swift movement, hoists Xukun up onto the counter.

“Fuck, you’re so strong.” Xukun exhales, wrapping his legs around Ziyi’s torso and running his fingers through his hair.

“Muscles are good for something now, aren’t they.” Ziyi murmurs, nudging Xukun’s mouth open with his tongue.

Xukun lets him in and the kiss turns filthy. It’s all tongue and Xukun’s dick hardens immediately.

“Ziyi, fuck me,” He whines out.

Ziyi pulls away and places a kiss on the side of his jaw, holding the other side with a hand.

“My big head has plans for you. I’m taking my time tonight.” Ziyi’s voice is raspy and rough and fuck, Xukun wants to cum right here and now. “You don’t get to cum until I’m done with you.”

“Don’t tease me, you fucker.” Xukun whimpers. “You know I won’t last.”

Ziyi pulls away, looks into Xukun’s lustful eyes, and says lowly, “You will.”

Then he’s carrying Xukun to the couch as he sucks on the skin right underneath Xukun’s jaw.

 

\---

 

Xukun blearily opens his eyes the next morning. 

He groans and tries to move but there’s a heavy body on top of him. Xukun rubs his eyes. Ziyi’s head is against his chest and his arm is wrapped possessively around his waist. Their legs are tangled and Xukun’s right hand is in Ziyi’s hair. 

Why is there no room to move? He turns his head. Oh, right. They’re on the couch. Shortly after they both came, Ziyi fell asleep on top of him and Xukun counted his eyelashes until he fell asleep as well.

Xukun removes his hand from Ziyi’s head and tries to get out from underneath the football player without waking him but it’s impossible. 

“Ziyi, wake up. I need the bathroom.” He says, gently shaking him.

The football captain shakes his head and snuggles in even closer, his head now in the crook of Xukun’s shoulder, his lips against Xukun’s skin.

“5 more minutes, baby, please.” Ziyi mutters sleepily into his neck.

He really can’t say no to that so he closes his eyes and goes back to sleep.

 

\---

 

The next time he wakes up, there’s a very soft blanket covering him and something cooking. He breathes in the delicious smelling air through his nose and stands up. He wraps the blanket around himself and goes into the kitchen to find a fully clothed Ziyi stirring something in a pot. Xukun approaches him, resting his chin on Ziyi’s shoulder. 

“What you making?” Xukun asks, accidentally letting out a yawn at the end.

“Morning, sunshine.” Ziyi leans into his body. “I’m making ramen.”

“Finally, something unhealthy.” Xukun says.

“With eggs and vegetables.”

Xukun groans. He’s about to remove his chin from Ziyi’s shoulder when the football captain turns his head and pecks his cheek. 

“Take a shower.” Ziyi tells him. “The ramen will be done by the time you’re out.”

But Xukun is frozen. He can’t move.

It’s not the first time Ziyi’s kissed him on the cheek but this time, it’s feels _too_ couple-y. The kiss was…sweet. The current setting doesn’t fucking help either. His head is on Ziyi’s shoulder while Ziyi cooks for them. They’re alone in a big house and he didn’t leave after getting fucked.

This is what couples do.

This isn’t something people who are only fucking do.

The domesticity is fucking killing him.

He needs out before things reach a level of domestic he can’t handle. 

“Kun? You okay?” Ziyi breaks him out of his thoughts.

“Uh…Yeah…” He blinks and stalks away, going to the bathroom in Ziyi’s room upstairs.

His first instinct is to run, to sneak out of the window, but that’s shitty. So, he calmly takes a shower and goes back downstairs to have some lunch with his non-boyfriend who’s acting like his boyfriend. 

Lunch is quiet.

Ziyi keeps looking at him all worryingly and shit but Xukun avoids his glances. He doesn’t remove his eyes from the bowl in front of him. When he’s done eating, he abruptly stands up.

“I’m gonna go to the court.” He announces and is out the door before Ziyi has the chance to react.

Xukun gets to the court and starts shooting hoops. 

Maybe it won’t be so bad if he’s feeling things, you know? Maybe things will work out for him and Ziyi. How will he know if he never tries?

But he doesn’t want to try just to have it backfire in his face. He doesn’t want to go through another heartbreak. He _can’t_.

But he can’t continue this either. He can’t keep sleeping with Ziyi and acting like he hates the guy. He can’t keep leading the other on because it’s obvious Ziyi’s feelings are deeper than just fucking as well. He doesn’t want to hurt Ziyi. But how is he going to continue this _without_ hurting him? He doesn’t want to end things, especially not after going through three weeks of hell without Ziyi. He didn’t know he could miss someone that much and feel immense happiness when he laid eyes on him after the weeks they spent apart. He didn’t know he could feel this way about someone so strongly. He definitely wasn’t planning on it. 

Their arrangement wasn’t supposed to develop like this. They were only supposed to have a few fun months together then they were supposed to end things without any fucking feelings. 

He wasn’t supposed to fall.

“Gah!” He lets out a frustrated groan and throws the basketball at the net only for it to hit the board before it hits him in the face. “Should have seen that coming.”

He picks up the ball and continues to shoot hoops. He doesn’t stop until he’s calmed down and Ziyi is out of his mind. 

By then he’s panting for air, his face is red, and he’s sweating more than he’s ever sweat before. He drops to the floor and closes his eyes. 

He needs to end things. Right now.

He opens his eyes just in time to have a towel fall on his head. He removes it and sees Ziyi standing over him with a bottle of water in his hand. His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are in a tight line. Others would think he looks annoyed, angry even, but Xukun can tell Ziyi looks worried. His chest closes in on his heart, tightens around it, as if threatening to crush it.

He can’t end things. 

Not like this. 

Not when Ziyi obviously cares about him.

Not when…he obviously cares about Ziyi too.

“It’s been two hours, I thought you died.” Ziyi says and lies down next to him.

Xukun immediately goes back to covering his red face with the towel.

“Are you okay, Kun?” Ziyi asks, worry lacing every word.

“No, but I will be.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Well, if you ever do, I’m here for you.” Ziyi says quietly. “You can tell me anything.”

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

They just lay like that in comfortable silence for half an hour. It’s not really silence because Xukun is still panting from past two hours but it’s comfortable. It’s not weird or tense like their silence used to be.

“You hungry?” Ziyi eventually asks.

“For you? Always.” Xukun grins.

Ziyi chuckles softly and pinches his hipbone. “No, for real food. Let’s get whatever you’re in the mood for.”

Yeah, that sounds nice. “Sure, let’s go.”

Xukun stands up and is a little dizzy. He’s about to fall when Ziyi’s strong arms wrap around him, holding him up.

“What would you do without me?” Ziyi teases as he helps Xukun walk.

He takes a drink from the water bottle. “Die.”

That was supposed to come out as light and teasing but it comes out strained, desperate, and solemn. Ziyi looks at him but Xukun’s eyes are on the floor.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m not going anywhere.” Ziyi says softly.

Xukun tries to scoff but it comes out as an awkward cough. “Don’t flatter yourself. I’m just tired.”

They get into Ziyi’s car and he drives off.

“What do you want?” Ziyi asks.

“I’m in the mood for sushi. Go to the one near campus.”

The drive to the sushi place is quiet.

“Linong!” Xukun greets one of the servers when they step inside. “You didn’t go home?”

“I couldn’t.” He sighs then looks surprised to see Ziyi. “Ziyi? Weren’t you going home? What happened?”

Ziyi quickly glances at Xukun before looking back at Linong. “Change of plans.”

Linong shoots Ziyi a disbelieving glance but he leads them to a table in the back. He takes their order and disappears into the back.

“Are you feeling better?” Ziyi asks.

“A little, thanks.”

“So, I was thinking.” Ziyi clears his throat. “Can I call you baby?”

“No.” Xukun says immediately.

“Why not?” Ziyi whines and, wow, Xukun likes that sound and so does his dick.

_Because it does things to my heart and it’s not good for either of us to develop more feelings._ “Because it’s a stupid pet name. It’s also another word for infant.”

“What about babe?”

“No.”

“You’re hopeless!” Ziyi cries then purses his lips. “Anyway, before we graduate, we’re taking the first years on a camping trip. The school decides which majors go when but I was wondering, would you like to come to mine?”

“When’s yours?”

“A few weeks after New Year’s.”

“In the winter?!” Xukun exclaims. “No way in hell.”

Ziyi sticks out his bottom lip and pouts and Xukun wants to kiss that pout right off.   “But I need you there to warm me up.”

“You’re a billionaire and you can’t afford a warm jacket?”

“Millionaire.” Ziyi corrects him. “And you know it’s not the same as body heat.”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

“You’re only using me for my body.” Xukun jokes, sighing sadly. “I knew it.”

Ziyi blinks, looking taken aback and suddenly very serious. “No. That’s not true.”

Xukun coughs awkwardly. “I was just joking.”

“Well, joking or not, I’m not with you just for your body.”

“Tha—”

“Because you’re too skinny. You need to work out.”

Xukun gives him a flat look and Ziyi laughs. 

“Everyone thinks you’re such a great and sweet guy. Wait until they hear that you _body shame_.” Xukun grumbles. “Your reputation is over.”

The football captain laughs louder, his eyes holding so much fondness and adoration for Xukun that he might just explode from seeing it.

“Who do you think they’ll believe?” Ziyi asks once he stops laughing. “An angel, A.K.A me, or you?”

Xukun gapes. “You’re a dick and the people need to know.”

“But you like my dick.”

Their food finally comes.

“Shut up and eat.” Xukun says and picks up the chopsticks.

“You’re adorable, you know that?”

“You never shut up about it so yes.”

“You need to be reminded constantly.”

“No, I don—”

Linong, who is still standing there awkwardly, coughs.

“What’s wrong?” Ziyi asks him.

He takes out his phone and shows them the screen. “I don’t know if you’ve seen it but there’s another picture of you guys on the website.”

Linong smiles apologetically and walks to another table. Xukun sighs and pulls out his own phone. 

There is a picture of Xukun walking into the football house on the school’s website. Ziyi’s shirtless body is in the picture too. He’s smiling softly at Xukun, his brown eyes twinkling (Xukun hadn’t seen that smile. His head was turned towards the side. Is that what Ziyi looks like when he looks at Xukun? He can’t place it but this smile is different than the ones he gives to Xukun’s face. This one is…private and holds a different kind of warmth. It’s a smile Ziyi hadn’t intended for him to see and it’s a smile that’s doing things to his heart. It’s making his heart constrict painfully) and once again, there are a million comments about them underneath the picture and the bet Zhou Rui started.

“I knew this was a bad idea.” Xukun mutters under his breath as he reads through the comments (after he saves the picture).

“Maybe not,” Ziyi says and Xukun looks up at him. “I mean my team knows and your team knows and they are seemingly okay with it. What’s the big deal if everyone finds out?”

_ It will be official if everyone finds out. _

“I’m, uh, not ready to go public?” Xukun says uncertainly. 

“But you’ll be ready one day?” He looks hopeful.

Xukun nods. “Maybe.”

“Okay,” Ziyi sticks a roll into his mouth.

 

❤️  


 

A few days later, they’re playing a video game when Ziyi brings up the subject Xukun silently prayed he wouldn’t.

“Is it going to take a car accident and me ending up in the hospital with a broken leg for you to admit that you like me?” Ziyi says.

Xukun frowns. “What are we, in a drama?”

“If I’m your lead.”

“What if I say you’re the second?”

Ziyi pauses the game. “You’re seeing someone other than me?”

Xukun can’t decipher his tone and he’s afraid to look at his face, to look into his eyes, and see hurt.

“What if I was?”

Ziyi drops his controller on the table with a loud bang and turns his entire body to face Xukun. 

“Are you telling me that you are?”

“Would it be a problem if I was?”

“Yes,” Ziyi says shortly then takes a deep breath, “I just thought—I just—Why do you keep pretending that you hate me?”

“Who says I’m pretending?”

“Stop, Kun. Just. Stop. If you hated me, we wouldn’t be here. You would’ve ended things months ago.”

Xukun doesn’t say anything.

“I want something more, Kun.” Ziyi continues. “This isn’t enough for me anymore. The more we hang out, the harder I fall. And I don’t want to fall if you don’t want to catch me.”

Xukun’s hit with a bunch of emotions at once but he can only make sense of two. Ecstasy and panic. Ecstasy for Ziyi confessing and knowing that he feels the same. Panic because he isn’t ready for this. He isn’t ready for the confession or the turn this conversation will take. He thought he would have until after New Years to figure out where his head is and where he wants to be after Ziyi graduates.

It’s all too much too soon.

But Ziyi’s has a right to know too. He just wishes he didn’t have to answer to his feelings so soon.

“Why do you want to put a label on things?” He finally asks quietly.

“I don’t care about labels. This isn’t about labels. It’s the fact that you don’t see me as anything more than just a fuck.”

“That’s not true.” Xukun says, just above a whisper that he barely hears it himself.

“Isn’t it?” Ziyi asks, sounding strained. “If it isn’t then why don’t you want more?”

_Because I’m scared._ “Is this why you asked me to come over? To talk about _feelings_?”

“So, you admit you have them for me?”

Yes. “ _No._ ”

“Kun, look at me.”

“No.”

“Kun,” Ziyi says in a tender voice.

Xukun shakes his head and Ziyi places his thumb under his chin to force Xukun to look at him. Xukun gently swat his hand away. Ziyi drops his hand and sighs.

“Then what are we doing?” Ziyi asks, his voice small and fragile, so fragile. “If you don’t want to date, what are we doing? If we’re not going to end up together, in a relationship, then what are you still doing here?”

Xukun swallows the lump in his throat. “Are you asking me to leave?”

“Will you let me in if I say no?”

Silence.

Deafening silence.

He wants to say something, _anything_ , but for some fucking reason his tongue doesn’t seem to be working.

Ziyi lets out a defeated sigh. “Yeah…You should probably leave then. Chengcheng will be here soon so you can sneak out of my room or whatever. You can see yourself out.”

Xukun’s heart plummets. He opens his mouth to stop him but Ziyi is already gone. He stares at the door, hoping Ziyi will come back because he can’t move (his legs are frozen and his whole body is numb and he just wants to crawl under his blankets and never come out) but minutes pass by and he doesn’t come. 

With numb legs, a numb heart, and scattered thoughts, he makes his way upstairs to pack his shit. Once he’s done, he throws his bag out of the window and sits with one leg dangling out of it. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispers to Ziyi’s empty room. 

Xukun is abut to climb down when someone knocks and opens the door. He freezes on the sill.

Fan Bingbing’s brother is staring at him with wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” He asks.

“Ziyi. He, uh, he…kidnapped me and I’m escaping.” Xukun says through the lump in his throat. “Could you, um, could yo—could you please tell him that I’m sorry?”

He narrows his eyes. “For what?”

Xukun looks away and gives him a small nod. He climbs down the pipe with shaky hands and legs. The second his feet touch the ground, it starts pouring rain. Xukun breathes out through his nose and runs his shaking hand through his hair.

“My life really is a drama.” He chokes out as he makes his way to the dorms.

With it pouring, at least he can’t tell if it’s tears or rain staining his face.

_ What are you putting your heart through, Xukun? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry?
> 
> i don't believe i mentioned their hair colours in this fic so. ziyi dyed his hair a light brown and he lets it loose now from what ive seen the past couple of weeks. so that's the ziyi in this fic and xukun is black haired xukun. a visual power couple!
> 
> i probably won't be able to update until after new years 😔
> 
> happy (early) holidays!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope everyone had a great holiday!

When Xukun returns to his dorm he finds Zhengting sprawled out on his bed.

“What are you doing here?” They ask each other in unison.

Xukun drops his bag on his desk and shuts the door.

“Weren’t you spending the holidays with your family?” Xukun asks, flopping down on his bed.

“Weren’t you spending it with Ziyi? Why are your eyes red?” Zhengting’s eyes narrow. “And why do you have a black eye? Did he _punch_ you? I’ll kill him.”

“Are you out of your mind? Ziyi would never hit anybody. A basketball hit me and I asked you first.”

“Thank god, I actually like him.” Zhengting lets out a sigh of relief then shrugs. “Big family fight over the fact that I like dick. Your turn.”

“Small fight over the fact that I don’t want to be in a relationship.”

His roommate scoffs. “That is such bull.”

Xukun scowls and stares at him. “What the hell makes you think I want to be in a relationship?”

Zhengting rolls his eyes. “You’re already in a relationship. Ziyi just wants to put a name to it. What the fuck are you afraid of?”

Xukun’s silent for a long moment.

What _isn't_ he afraid of is the question.

“A lot of things.” He finally admits out loud. “I’m afraid that he’s graduating next semester and he’s probably going to leave the damn country. His dad wants him to go to America and he said he wants to go abroad at least once in his life. Where’s that going to leave us? What if he likes it there and never comes back? I don’t want to start a relationship that’s going to end.”

“What makes you think it’s going to end before it’s barely even started?”

Xukun shrugs. “Long distance relationships never work. They never last.”

“You don’t know that.” Zhengting says. “You don’t know what will happen unless you let him in. You won’t know unless you try.”

“I know but I’m afraid of the outcome.”

“What if the outcome doesn’t turn out the way you think it will? What if it turns out better than you could ever imagine?”

“That’s a lot of what ifs.”

“Yeah, it is. Those what ifs turn into regret when you look back at it. Don’t let the what ifs just be what ifs.”

“How philosophical.” Xukun snorts.

“Philosophy class has turned me into a wise man.” His roommate says smugly.

“Should have taken it earlier so you could be graduating with people your age instead of with me.”

“I took a few years off after high school to work!” Zhengting shouts defensively as he throws his pillows at Xukun’s head. “You fucking dick.”

“Excuses!” Xukun shouts back as he tries to dodge the pillows but to no avail.

“In all seriousness, though, just talk to him. Let him know what’s holding you back.” Zhengting tells him. “Now give me back my pillows.”

Xukun sighs. “You threw them, you get them back.”

He hears his roommate let out a heavy sigh but he doesn’t get up. Xukun pulls his comforter over his head and lets out a sigh of his own. He just needs to sleep it off. He can figure out the mess his head is in when he wakes up. He hasn’t gotten much sleep in the past few days. He and Ziyi spent all day and night fooling around and having sex. They were too excited to really get any sleep and it was really fun while it lasted.

He closes his eyes and before he knows it, he’s fast asleep.

 

\---

 

He wakes up a few hours later to Zhengting slamming into his desk and letting out a loud wail. Xukun rubs at his eyes before opening them and sitting up. He looks at his bag that is now on the floor and all of the contents spilling out onto their carpet.

“Are you blind?” He shoots out of his bed and quickly goes over to pick up his belongings before Zhengting has the chance.

He’s too late. His roommate picks up the cards he had made for Ziyi.

“What are these?” His roommate asks then reads aloud, “one free blowjob.”

“Nothing. Give them back.” He tries to reach for the cards but Zhengting quickly gets up on the chair and holds them above Xukun's head.

Zhengting raises an unconvinced eyebrow. “You know I’m going to bug you until you tell me.”

Xukun rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”

“I’m waiting!”

"I'm going to pull that chair from under you."

"You crack my skull open and Wenjun will kill you."

Xukun rolls his eyes and makes a mocking face at his roommate but shrugs in defeat. 

“I made those for Ziyi for Christmas.” Xukun says reluctantly. “On one side it’s sex acts he can ask for with the card and on the other side there are fun facts about me. He said I don’t share much about myself so…the cards were to let him know things about me," he clears his throat, "I guess.”

Zhengting flips over the card and reads, “I hate accounting,” then gives Xukun a flat look. “Everyone knows you hate accounting.”

“Whatever, give them back.”

Zhengting shakes his head and goes through more cards.

“I like the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you laugh.” Zhengting reads then grins at Xukun. “That is so cute, aw, Kunkun. I’m melting.”

“Give it back!” Xukun tries to grab the cards again but Zhengting is faster.

He jumps from the chair to his bed and kicks out a leg to keep Xukun from getting at him.

“How do you have sweet shit on one side and then on the other side it says shit like ‘one redeemable sex act of your choice’ and ‘blowjob in public’ and oh, this one’s cute, ‘one free—‘Oof!”

Xukun pulls his leg, making Zhengting fall to the floor on his face. He snatches his cards away and stuffs them into his bag.

“That’s going to leave a bruise.” Zhengting murmurs as he sits up and nurses his cheek. “So you like him like him?”

“I’m gonna kill you.” Xukun says through gritted teeth and takes a pillow to smother him with it.

“Wenjun will avenge me!” Zhengting shrieks and tries to push him off.

“You’re not allowed to call me Kunkun!” Xukun shouts at him then very quietly whispers, “only Ziyi is allowed to.”

He loves the way Ziyi says Kunkun. It makes his insides melt and his heart soar but he's probably never going to hear that from Ziyi ever again. He feels his whole body sag with sadness.

Xukun stops smothering his roommate with the pillow and gets off of him before crawling into his bed. He pulls his covers over his head and shuts his eyes.

“Hey,” Zhengting says softly, “everything will be okay.”

“Fuck off.” Xukun snaps.

He feels his roommate gently pat his shoulder. “I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Fuck off.” Xukun snaps louder this time.

“Oh god.” Zhengting groans. “If I have to deal with you being a dick like you were the two weeks you didn’t see him. I swear to god, Cai Xukun, I will shave your fucking head.”

“And I’ll tell Wenjun you cheated on him.”

Zhengting gasps. “You wouldn’t dare lie.”

“Touch a strand of hair on my head and you’ll see.”

“What the hell does Ziyi see in you?” Zhengting grumbles. “You’re the fucking devil.”

Xukun hugs his blanket a little bit tighter. 

 

❤️

 

Xukun doesn’t leave the dorm for the rest of the week.

Zhengting tries to force him out but he doesn’t budge. He barely leaves his bed and he is miserable. 

No. Miserable is an understatement. He is actually suffering. It’s like he has separation anxiety and it won’t fucking go away. Every day he tells himself to text Ziyi something, fucking anything, but he can’t muster up the courage to do so. He knows he fucked up but he doesn’t know how to fix things, doesn’t even know where to start. 

It’s a day before the new semester starts and Xukun is under his covers, phone in hand. Just a few minutes ago he got a notification from Ziyi in the group chat with Zhou Rui and the two girls.

 

**captain of my heart:** you guys have lost the bet. whatever xukun and i had is over.

 

_captain of my heart has left the group chat_

 

(Ziyi’s the one who actually picked that contact name. Xukun had him down as just ‘Ziyi’ but once the football captain got a hold of his phone he changed it to captain of my heart and Xukun didn’t bother changing it back. What’s the point when it’s the truth?)

As soon as Ziyi left, Zhou Rui and the girls started texting him nonstop. One of the girls is clearly on Ziyi’s side because she keeps yelling at him and demanding he apologize to the sweet football captain. Xukun knows he should leave the group chat but he knows he deserves all the scolding so he reads every text until they stop. 

Once they do, the girls leave. It’s just him and Zhou Rui now.

 

**rui ge:** i don’t know what happened between you two but fix it. i’ve seen you two together. you’re good for each other and good together. you won’t find anyone better than him.

 

What? When the hell did he see them togeth—

 

**rui ge:** i see everything. who do you think posted the pics?

 

Xukun exists the group chat and looks at the picture of him walking into the football house. He looks at Ziyi’s face (the way he’s looking at him making his heart swell) and exhales roughly.

Zhou Rui is right. He’s never going to find anyone better than Wang Ziyi. He’s definitely never going to find anyone who will look at him the way Ziyi is looking at him in the picture. Hell, no one’s ever looked at him like that before Ziyi came along. 

And they _are_ good together. They are _great_ together. 

He can’t even remember the last time he was as happy as he was during the short time they spent at Ziyi’s place.

It was just the two of them acting like a domestic married couple and it was literally the happiest Xukun had ever been.

Ziyi would make a great boyfriend. He’s so caring and wonderful. He likes to take care of Xukun and he’s funny and sweet. And, obviously, he’s fantastic in bed. They spent every waking moment they could fucking on every surface so Xukun could get back at the football team for all the pranks they pulled on the basketball team.

But that doesn’t mean Xukun is good for him. He couldn’t even admit to himself that he liked Ziyi, how is he going to be in a relationship. He lacks communication skills and he has major commitment issues. Would they even last if they do actually get together?

Well, he doesn’t need to worry about that considering they are over and he’s too chicken to admit his feelings to the other.

“Xukun, get up!” Zhengting yells at him. “You know what. You are worse now. Please just be a dick to me. At least say something so I know you’re alive.”

Xukun exhales sharply and sits up, his blanket falling off his face.

“You look like shit.” Zhengtings blurts out before looking at him apologetically. “Sorry but you do.”

“I fucked up.”

“Fix it.” His roommate tells him simply.

“I don’t know how.”

“Yes you do.” Zhengting gets into bed.

“Listen—”

“No, you’re not allowed to talk to me until you fix things.”

He can’t be serious.

“Zhengting.”

He doesn’t answer.

He is serious.

“Please take a shower before classes tomorrow.” Zhengting says. 

 

❤️

 

The semester starts and the first day passes by in a blur.

So do the next few weeks. 

He barely pays attention in his classes and his head isn’t completely there for his basketball practices/games. His mind is on Ziyi and Ziyi only. 

Every day he hopes to run into the other but he doesn’t. They don’t have any classes together this semester (of course they don’t. Xukun doesn’t understand why he’s surprised and disappointed when Ziyi is older than him) and Ziyi has texted him since the text to the group chat. Xukun is delusional for even hoping to get a text from him when he was the one who pushed the football captain away. Ziyi really cut off all ties with Xukun and the only person he can blame is himself.

Xukun is late to class today and he’s running to get there as fast as he can when he sees Ziyi walking in the opposite direction. He stops in his tracks and calls out his name.

Ziyi stops to look at him.

Xukun doesn’t know what he was expecting when he sees Ziyi but he definitely wasn’t expecting to see him look like he just rolled out of bed. He doesn’t look as put together as he always does and his pants don’t match his shirt. Xukun feels kind of comforted to know he isn’t the only one who’s miserable. 

“Ziyi,” he says breathlessly.

The football captain’s face is blank and it slices at Xukun’s heart. He’s never seen this face on Ziyi before. Ziyi’s usually happy and smiley around him.

He’s killed that.

“What’s up?” His tone is flat too.

Xukun’s not used to this side of Ziyi and he doesn’t like it.

“I wanted to apologize.” Xukun says weakly.

“I don’t want to hear it, Xukun.” Ziyi says dryly. “You were loud and clear about your feelings.”

Xukun. Ziyi hasn’t called him that since the second time they fucked. It was always Kun, Kunkun, or baby.

Somehow, hearing his full name hurts him even more.

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t just end things. I know you know I like you but you had to lead me on. You could have just broken things off instead of giving me hope.” Ziyi’s voice breaks on the word hope and he looks away, shaking his head.

He doesn’t wait for Xukun to answer. 

Xukun watches him leave, the walls around his heart crumbling.

He forgets about class and goes to the basketball court where Yanjun is already shooting hoops.

“Hey,” Yanjun says when he sees Xukun approaching.

“Hey,” He mutters.

Yanjun throws the basketball at him which he catches without a second thought. 

“How you holding up?” Yanjun asks him.

Xukun shrugs. “About as well as you would expect.”

“You!” A very angry and very short person shouts at Xukun.

“Zhangjing!” Yanjun yells out in horror. “Stop, he’s still my best friend.”

Yanjun’s boyfriend stands in front of Xukun, his nostrils flaring.

“You’re tiny.” Xukun comments.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.” Zhangjing seethes.

“And scary.” He backs away.

Yanjun places his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulls him back.

“I don’t know what kind of stupid power you hold over Ziyi but you better fucking apologize to him and make him go back to the old Ziyi.” Zhangjing threatens. “I have had enough of his moping and pinning. What did you do to him?”

“I told him I didn’t want to be in a relationship.” He responds in a small voice.

“You _what_? After everything he’s done?” Zhangjing glares. 

“What are you talking about? What has he done?” Now Xukun is just confused.

“Of course he didn’t tell you. How do you think you passed English?” Zhangjing asks and Xukun frowns. “It wasn’t your fucking stellar grades, was it? Ziyi went to the professor and did extra credit _for you_ so that you could pass the class. He told the football team to lay off you and the basketball team or he would bench them. Why do you think the pranks suddenly stopped?

“And the week he spent here with you instead of with his family for Christmas? He lied about what he said so he could spend time with you. His parents kept calling me so I could convince him to go home but no. He wanted to spend Christmas with you. He was going to spend New Year’s with you too but you ripped out his heart and stepped on it.”

Xukun stares at him dumfounded.

He swallows roughly. “But…”

Zhangjing scoffs. “You know he’s never liked anyone the way he likes you? In high school everyone threw themselves at him but he didn’t give them the time of day. And here, now, do you have any idea how many people want him? Not just to fuck him but genuinely want to be with him?

“There are so many good people he could be with besides you. There’s so many people who would treat him right but you’re the one he’s hung up on. You’re the one who makes him happy. And _you’re_ the one who’s going to make things right because I swear to god, if he isn’t smiling by the camping trip, I will kill you. I’m not joking.”

“You would go to jail, babe.” Yanjun interjects awkwardly.

Zhangjing doesn’t tear his eyes away from Xukun. “I wouldn’t hesitate for Ziyi.”

He shoots Xukun a final glare before storming away.

“He’s right, man,” Yanjun says when his boyfriend’s gone. “Ziyi is a great guy and he can make you happy. He _has_ made you happy. What are you afraid of?”

“The future?” Xukun says but it comes out as more of a question. “I like him, okay. I do. I’m just afraid of what’s going to happen when he graduates. I don’t want my heart broken again. I’m…scared.”

“Of what? What’s going to happen if you admit that you like him?”

“I don’t know? He’s graduating in a few months? He’s probably going to leave the damn country? His dad has a company in America that he wants Ziyi to run.” Xukun lets out a breath. “Or maybe I don’t want to fall for him even harder just to have my heart broken again. Pick a reason.”

Yanjun softens. “What makes you think he’s going to break your heart?”

“What’s the guarantee he won’t? Besides, there’s no point in starting something when I won’t even see him once he graduates. Long distance relationships never work out.”

He’s starting to sound like a broken fucking record, he _knows_.

“But you’ve already started something. You two were literally dating.”

“What?”

Yanjun stares at him. 

“You've got to be fucking kidding me." His best friend says flatly and like he's completely done with Xukun (he doesn't blame him). "You two haven’t been with anyone else since you started this. You spent majority of your five months with him and vice versa. You weren’t exclusive because you are a coward and didn’t want to tell anyone but you were dating. You were doing everything boyfriends do. Going out to a fancy restaurant or to a movie isn’t the only thing that counts as a date. Your study dates with him and hanging out with him, just the two of you, just having lunch or dinner together count as dates too. You two have been on countless dates since you started your whatever the hell you want to call it. You just didn’t talk about it.

“Ziyi is invested in you. Anyone can see that. You should see the way he looks at you and the fact that both his wallpapers are pictures of you.”

“What?” Xukun asks. “How do you know how he looks at me? You’ve never seen us together.”

“I saw you at my place and that afternoon in your dorm but I meant at our basketball games. He’s been at every single one since you’ve started fucking. He’s usually at the very top with a baseball cap but he would never take his eyes off of you. And he cheers the loudest for you.”

Xukun thinks back to all of his games and Yanjun is right. There was always a guy who was yelling out his name at the final game and the games before that, the tall guy in the back that cheered for him. So that was him. Ziyi was the one at his final game. He wasn’t imagining it when he heard Ziyi cheering for him. He can’t believe he didn’t recognize Ziyi’s voice sooner.

“I screwed everything up.” Xukun wails. “I saw him before coming here and I said I wanted to apologize but he said he didn’t want to hear it.”

Yanjun pats his back. “Zhangjing and I can lock you two in a room if you want.”

“What? No!”

He puts his hands up in defence. “Just a suggestion. But just tell him how you feel and why you’re afraid. He’ll listen to you.”

“But I never see him.”

“Do it at the camping thing. He told Zhangjing he didn’t want to go without you but his friends are forcing him so he can forget you.”

“Don’t I need to register or something? I know the deadline for that has passed.”

Yanjun grins at him. “Don’t worry. Zhou Rui and I can sneak you in. After you’re in, you’re on your own.”

“I don’t like that smile.” Xukun frowns. “You look creepy.”

Yanjun ignores that. "We’re leaving on Friday. Be at the entrance at one pm.”

“Friday? That’s tomorrow!” His eyes widen.

“Yup,” Yanjun nods cheerfully, “start writing your big apology speech, like, now.”

"I'm not ready." Xukun panics. "I need more time."

Yanjun smacks him upside the head, earning him a disgruntled "hey!" from Xukun.

"You don't have any more fucking time." Yanjun snaps at him. "He's graduating in three months. Get your shit together, Cai. This weekend is your only chance."

Xukun takes a deep breath and nods vigorously in an attempt to encourage himself. "I can do this. I can fucking do this."

He _can_ do this.

Right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry for taking so long to update oh my goddd. i had about 90% of it written after i posted ch7 but life and school got in the way of things. i had a day off so i wrote the rest of the chapter. it is the last chapter and fucking hell, it's a long one.
> 
> enjoy!

He can’t do this.

“I can’t do this.” 

Zhou Rui and Yanjun are already sitting in the car, waiting for him, but Xukun is too nervous. They met up at one and now it’s one-thirty and Xukun is still too fucking nervous to get into the damn car.

Zhou Rui opens his window and snaps, “shut up and get into the car.” 

He shakes his head. “I can’t do it.”

Zhou Rui gets out of the car and opens the back door.

“Get in or I will force you in.” He threatens. “My patience is running out.”

He stares Xukun down.

The senior is small but he can be fucking scary when he wants to be, especially with the way he’s looking at him right now, so Xukun nods and gets into the back seat.

“You’ll be fine.” Yanjun tells him, starting the car and driving off as soon as Zhou Rui gets in. “Don’t fuck up and everything is going to go smoothly.”

“Thanks.” Xukun deadpans sarcastically.

Zhou Rui falls asleep immediately and Yanjun ignores him to FaceTime his boyfriend the whole three hour drive. Xukun doesn’t get to sleep even with his earphones in because he feels as though he’s going to puke due to how nervous he is. So instead, he plays out his speech in his head and how Ziyi will (hopefully) react.

When they finally get there, Yanjun parks a few minutes away from the campsite, and they sneak in when the seniors aren’t around. Zhou Rui runs up to a table, grabs name tags and a pen, before slapping one on Xukun’s chest. He crosses out a name already written on it and writes down Xukun’s name.

“Don’t fuck up this time.” Zhou Rui says warningly before running up to Xingjie and Linkai.

What is Linkai doing here? He looks around the campsite. And the newbie with Bingbing’s brother and…his whole basketball team?!

‘Why is the team here?” Xukun hisses.

“I see Zhangjing!” Yanjun exclaims and leaves without another glance at him.

Xukun might need new friends. 

He continues to look around when he spots Ziyi. He’s standing at a table with food and there’s someone standing next to him. The person is very touchy, Xukun observes. He keeps touching ZIyi’s arm and leaning in close and Xukun doesn’t like it.

The guy whispers something into Ziyi’s ear and the football captain laughs, his hand coming to cover up his mouth, and the guy watches him like Ziyi is the only guy on the planet.

Xukun hates it.

Ziyi used to laugh like that around Xukun. The way his eyes crinkle in the corners and the way he covers his mouth with his ginormous hand is a sight for Xukun (and Xukun _only_ ) to see.

Oh, is this what jealousy is?

He doesn’t like this feeling.

“Cai Xukun!” Yanjun yells out from somewhere behind him. “What are you doing here?”

That little shit. He did that to get Ziyi to look at him. He will not give his best friend that satisfaction. He will _no_ —too late. 

Ziyi is looking at him and the smile he had on his face drops. He blinks a few times before he starts to approach Xukun. 

Xukun wants to run but his legs are frozen firmly in place. 

Now everyone is looking at them, well, more like at _him_ , and he really wishes his legs would work.

“Xukun.”

“Who’s that?” He blurts out.

Ziyi frowns. He looks back at the person who was standing with him before he looks back at Xukun. Something flickers in Ziyi’s brown orbs but it’s gone before Xukun can really decipher it.

Ziyi lowers his voice so no one else can hear when he says, “Zhijie. A friend. What are you doing here?”

“You asked me to come so here I am?” Xukun chuckles awkwardly.

“That was before you decided you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Can we talk in private?” Xukun asks, feeling every single pair of eyes on them and every single ear straining to hear their conversation.

Before Ziyi can respond, the guy—Zhijie—is standing next to him, his hand on Ziyi’s waist. Xukun feels his chest tighten as his eyes burn holes into the hand holding Ziyi.

“Is this guy bothering you?” Zhijie asks.

“What?” Xukun’s eyes snap up. He glowers. “Who do you think you are?”

Zhijie takes a step forward. “I’ll show you who I am.”

“Yeah?” Xukun’s about to get into the guy’s space when Ziyi places a hand on his chest and gently pushes him back.

“I don’t need a fight to break out the first day.” Ziyi says tiredly. “Save it for the last day or until we get back to campus so I don’t have to deal with it.”

He gives Xukun a small nod before walking away.

“Ziyi,” Xukun calls, taking a step to follow him only to be shoved back.

“Stay the fuck away from him.” Zhijie tells him, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You’ve hurt him enough.”

He runs off after the football captain while Xukun stands there, annoyed and frustrated.

Zhangjing approaches him. “C’mon, I have a plan.”

“You're talking to me?”

“You showed up.” Is all he says before leading him inside a building.

There’s a lounge and his entire basketball team is there with a few members from the football team.

“You struck out, huh?” Linkai says, stifling a laugh.

“What the fuck are you assholes doing here?” Xukun demands.

Zhengting pops up from behind a couch. “Zhangjing invited the football team on behalf of Ziyi and they invited your team.”

“Zhengting?” 

Zhengting winks at him before he’s being dragged down by (who Xukun only assumes could be) Wenjun.

“Yeah, it happens every year. The football team is basically a part of us and they always invite their friends.” Zhangjing explains. “Anyways, Ziyi really didn’t want to come so he booked a room instead of bringing a tent. He’s going to be alone and since you have no room or tent, you will be spending the next three nights with him.”

“He’s not going to agree to that.” 

“It’s Ziyi.” Yanjun scoffs. “He’s not going to leave you out in the fucking cold.”

“You also brought no extra fucking clothes which I don’t understand.” Zhou Rui says, emerging from inside. “And no one else will let you borrow theirs _but_ Ziyi.”

He didn’t bring any clothes because he wasn’t really planning on staying the whole three nights. He figured he could go back before they had to sleep the first night if Ziyi rejects him but if Ziyi doesn’t reject him, he thought he could just stay with Ziyi and borrow his clothes.

“Anyone else want to pop up with their unnecessary commentary?” Xukun sighs.

“Yes,” Bingbing’s brother interjects, “you need to make a big gesture or something because he’s not going to take you back that easily.”

Everyone around the room nods and mumbles in agreement.

“Like what?”

“Oh!” The newbie pipes up (Xukun should really learn his name), “do it tonight around the fire pit.”

“In front of everyone?” Xukun stares at him like he just grew six heads in the past three seconds. “No fucking way in hell.”

“Yes!” Zhou Rui grins. “Tonight! It’s tradition. We sit around the fire and we confess. It’s usually people confessing their feelings to other people.”

It took him months to even admit to himself that he likes Ziyi. How the fuck do they want him to confess in front of _everyone_. His heart is about to jump out of his chest just thinking about it. He imagines that won’t go down well. He knows that he’s going to fuck it up somehow. How has it been so successful in the past that they made it a fucking tradition in the first place anyway?

“No.” Xukun says flatly. “We need to talk in private. I can’t confess in public.”

“Well, you have three nights. You better do it before we go back.” Zhangjing says before walking out of the building with Yanjun in tow.

Zhengting walks up to him and hands him a keycard. “Room 204. He’s inside.”

Xukun doesn’t even want to know when he and Wenjun stopped making out behind the couch and how he got a keycard.

He takes it. “Is he with _that guy?_ ”

“Jealousy is not a good look on you but go see for yourself.”

“Jiayou!” Linkai shouts mockingly, grinning widely.

He’s enjoying Xukun’s misery too much. He makes a mental note to bench Linkai once they get back. For good.

Xukun takes a deep breath and goes up to the second floor. He finds the door and slides in the key. The door opens.

“Zhijie, I’m not in the mo—”

Ziyi’s mouth closes the second he lays his eyes on Xukun. 

“Can I come in?” Xukun asks, avoiding his eyes.

“…Sure.”

Xukun swallows and walks inside, closing the door behind him.

Now that he’s here, now that he has Ziyi’s undivided attention, he doesn’t know what the fuck to say. He doesn’t know how to start apologizing. He doesn’t even know _what_ he wants to say. 

“Xukun?”

He has rehearsed it in the car but everything just flew out of his fucking mind. God, he is pathetic. Who stresses out this much telling someone they like them? The worst case scenario would be Ziyi rejecting him but can he face the rejection? Can he handle it after working up the nerve to come all the way down here and replaying his apology speech about a thousand times before he got here? But what if Ziyi doesn’t reject him?

Is he ready for a relationship? Is he ready to take the next step? Is he ready for a long-distance relationship?”

“Xukun?” Ziyi asks again, this time a little worryingly.

“I want you to call me Kunkun.” He bursts out in one breath.

_What?_

Ziyi looks confused. “I thought you didn’t want me to call you that.”

“That was before.”

“Before what?”

“Before…before, uh, before,” Xukun sighs, “I can’t do this.”

He wants to run but he knows he can’t.

“Do what?”

_It’s now or never._

He takes a really long, and really deep breath, and exhales.

“Before I liked you.” Xukun says as calmly as he can but his heart is beating erratically in his chest, the blood rushing to his ears he can barely hear himself. “I hated it because it sounded so childish but the way you say it sounds nice. Really nice. And I know I hurt you when I didn’t say anything that day, when I acted like I don’t like you but I do. I really, really, really do.

“I’m sorry for acting like that and for not telling you how I really feel. I’m sorry you chose to like an emotionally stunted commitment phobe.”

Well. That wasn’t so bad. Now he can breathe.

It’s silent for several long moments. Ziyi doesn’t say anything and Xukun doesn’t dare look at him. 

It _was_ bad. So bad. If Ziyi’s silence is anything to go by. Xukun takes the silence as a rejection and he really wishes he came here with some sort of transportation that could take him back this instant. He really needs to leave the room. He turns on is heel and is almost to the door when Ziyi speaks up.

“I didn’t choose to like you.” He says and Xukun’s heart plummets. 

“Oh, I understand, I’d hate me too.” Xukun whispers. “I’ll be going.”

He puts his hand on the doorknob and turns when Ziyi catches his wrist. He turns Xukun so that they’re facing each other and places a thumb under his chin.

“Xukun, I could never hate you, now please look at me.” Ziyi says gently.

Xukun opens his eyes and to find Ziyi’s own soften. He delicately cups Xukun’s cheek.

“I didn’t choose to like you.” Ziyi repeats.

“Okay, we get it. You didn’t want to like me. Can we move on.” Xukun mumbles, his heart breaking bit by bit.

“No, we can’t because I haven’t said what I wanted to. I didn’t choose to like you because we don’t get to decide. Our hearts decide that but if I could choose, I’d still choose you, emotionally stunted with commitment issues and all.”

Xukun’s heart starts to piece itself together and a huge smile appears on his face.

“I missed that smile.” Ziyi smiles fondly. “But how do I know you’re in it for real this time? I want more than just a fuckbuddy relationship.”

Xukun walks over to the bed and sits down.

“This may take a while.” Xukun says and pats the spot next to him.

“It’s a good thing we have time.” Ziyi sits next to him.

“When I was twelve, my dad left us for another woman, another family. He was already seeing the woman for years before my mom found out. I have a half-brother out there somewhere. That’s when my issues started, I guess.” Xukun runs a hand through his hair. “Your parents are supposed to stay together forever. They’re the first couple that you really see. You grow up thinking their love is what love is. They didn’t love each other. He made her cry every single night and when he left, all I could think was that love isn’t real. It really is only in fairytales and dramas.

“And that you shouldn’t trust anyone. Why put all your trust in someone only for them to break it? Why would you put yourself through that? At sixteen, I started sleeping around. Like father like son, right?” Xukun chuckles bitterly. “I didn’t trust anyone. Didn’t get into a relationship with anyone. Did not want to go through what my mom did. She hated herself for years. She blamed herself for his mistakes and there was no way in hell I was going to put myself through that shit. Until I was eighteen. 

“I met this guy at eighteen and he was everything you’d want in a guy.” Xukun shakes his head. “I was blinded by his looks and his charms that I didn’t see what a fucking dickhead he was. We dated for a while and I believed I was in love. I really thought that I was going to spend my life with him.

“What a joke.” Xukun scoffs. “Anyways, he moved but we agreed to keep in contact, to keep dating. It lasted a year but I didn’t sleep with anyone while we were together. I thought we were in a committed relationship. Turns out he didn’t feel the same. He was out fucking whatever he could and dating around. I only found out when he accidentally reposted a picture of him in bed with someone else on Weibo.

“After that I swore to myself that I would never go through that again. I was never going to fall for someone and have my fucking heart ripped out of my chest the way they ripped it out. I wasn’t going to.” He looks at Ziyi. “But you came along. I know you’re different from them. I know you genuinely like me but I was afraid. I still am. I don’t want to go through that. I really, really don’t want to feel like that ever again. I honestly felt like I was going to die.”

“Kun,” Ziyi says softly, reaching out a hand to take Xukun’s, “I would never do that to you. You have to believe me.”

“I believed them.” Xukun whispers but he doesn’t remove his hand from Ziyi’s. “I believed it when my dad told me he loved me and my mom. I believed the guy who told me he loved me. I don’t want to believe if it’s just going to end up being a lie.”

“I’m not lying to you. I’m in this. I want this. I want you for as long as you want me.” 

“But how do I know that?” Xukun asks. “All you did at first was flirt with me and want to fuck me only.”

Ziyi squeezes his hand. “If I approached you by telling you I liked you and wanted to date you, would you have said yes?”

“No,” Xukun answers softly.

“That’s why. I didn’t want you to push me away before you got to know me. I figured the only way to get your attention was to flirt and I was right.”

Xukun opens his mouth just as someone starts knocking on the door.

“The fire thing has started!” Someone yells. “We’re waiting for you, Captain Wang!”

“We should go.” Ziyi says as he stands up.

Xukun doesn’t let go of his hand but tugs it down. “No, I don’t want to.”

Ziyi beams affectionately at him before placing a small kiss at the top of his head.

“Let’s go. It’s confession night and I have things I want to confess.”

“In front of everyone?” Xukun’s eyes widen.

Ziyi laughs and oh, how much he’s missed that laugh. It sounds like music to his ears. Ziyi softly tugs at his hand and he relents. He stands up and they walk down to the camping site hand in hand. Everyone is already seated around the fire and Xukun subconsciously lets go of Ziyi.

Ziyi gives him a questioning glance.

“Sorry.” He murmurs, shrugging apologetically. “Habit.”

He really should have worn a warmer jacket. He’s fucking cold. He stuffs his hands into his pockets as they sit down. 

“Who’s starting?” Zhou Rui asks.

Ziyi raises a hand. “Kun and I have gotten back together. Right, baby?”

He looks at Xukun with a raised eyebrow. Xukun nods and leans in. Ziyi meets him halfway and their lips connect. Ziyi places a hand against his back and brings him in closer as he deepens the kiss.

Everyone starts cheering and whistling.

“That’s my fucking boy!” Yanjun shouts the loudest.

“Get it, Kunkun!” Zhengting chimes in.

Xukun lets out a small laugh against Ziyi’s lips.

“Moving on!” 

Ziyi breaks away. “No, wait. I have more to confess.” He looks at Xukun. “He needs to know I’m in it for the long run. Do you remember trying out for the football team?”

“You what?!” Some of Xukun’s teammates shriek. “You wanted to play for the fucking enemy?”

“Ziyi!” He hisses at the football captain then turns his glare on his teammates. “You all are fucking the enemy so shut up!”

“The night of the party where they announced who the new recruits were was the night I knew I would never forget you. It was the first time I saw you and I vowed that it wouldn’t be the last. I didn’t have the nerve to talk to you but I wanted to. You have no idea how badly I wanted to. I was just scared. You were the very first person to make me feel like that. To make me so speechless, to make me fear rejection.” He ducks his head shyly and Xukun can’t help but grin. This is a side of Ziyi he’s never seen. “I wanted you on the team. I begged them to let you on but we were full. Then I heard you got on the basketball team and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to be part of the stupid rivalry and have you hate me but I didn’t know any other way to approach you. I tried to quit the football team to join basketball but they wouldn’t let me. The prank I pulled on you in the cafe, it wasn’t supposed to be me. It was supposed to be Xingjie but I asked him if it could be me. You were so angry but you looked at me.

“You looked at me and I thought, wow, how do I get him to be mine? I wanted to be friends with you but after pulling the prank, I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop what I had started either but I thought having you speak to me and look at me, even angrily, is better than nothing.”

Xukun blinks at him, his heart stuttering. He really couldn’t believe this. Ziyi has liked him since he was a fucking freshman? Liked him his very first year at the university?

“You’ve liked me for two years?” He asks quietly.

Ziyi nods. “I’ve been harbouring feelings for you since then. The only reason we were in the same English class was because I got my brother to bribe them into letting me take the course. And when we started seeing each other, you have no idea how happy it made me. And now that I have you, I’m never letting you go.”

“We been knew! Moving on!” Someone yells out.

“No! Let’s hear Xukun’s!” Yanjun retaliates. 

“Shut up, Yanjun!” Xukun retorts but he doesn’t remove his eyes from Ziyi. “You might be.”

“I might be what?” Ziyi asks, eyes searching Xukun’s.

_The one_.

“You might be the one I really, really, _really_ like.”

Ziyi grins and brings him in for another kiss. “Keep saying that.”

Xukun pulls away, “nooooo,” he whines, burying his head in Ziyi’s parka.

“You’re so cute, Kunkun.” Ziyi whispers warmly as he ruffles Xukun’s hair.

Ziyi sneaks a hand into Xukun’s pocket and intertwines their fingers. Xukun looks at him but Ziyi is looking at the person who’s currently confessing. He’s got a small, reserved smile on his face and Xukun thinks he can get used to this. He gets impossibly closer to the football captain and rests his head on his shoulder, snuggling into him until he’s comfortable. Ziyi rests his cheek against Xukun’s head and Xukun drifts off the second he shuts his eyes.

 

\---

 

He wakes up in a bed which is not his bed.

He blinks until everything comes into focus and he remembers that he is at the camping thing with Ziyi. He stretches and lets out a loud moan.

“Kun, you up?” Ziyi asks, walking out of the bathroom. “Are you hungry? I bought food.”

He walks over to the bed and gives Xukun a soft peck. Xukun gets a hold of his arms and pulls the football captain down on top of him. Ziyi lets out a small groan but hugs him and rolls them over so that Xukun is on top of him.

“You don’t want to eat?” Ziyi asks. 

Xukun shakes his head and rests his head on Ziyi’s chest. “Not hungry.”

“You slept for seven hours.”

“Best sleep I’ve gotten in weeks.”

Ziyi’s thumb gently strokes his cheek. “You haven’t been sleeping?”

Xukun shakes his head. 

“Because of me?”

“You’re so full of yourself.” Xukun mumbles.

The football captain laughs. “So that’s a yes.”

Xukun props his chin on the back of his hands and looks at Ziyi.

“Why did you book a room?” He asks. “I thought the point of this camping thing was to camp.”

Ziyi shrugs and looks away from him. “I really didn’t want to deal with anyone. Wasn’t in the mood to even come in the first place.”

“That’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

“Who’s full of themselves now?” Ziyi says, grinning at him.

Xukun frowns and sticks out his tongue causing the football captain to smile fondly.

“I missed you.” Ziyi murmurs affectionately.

Xukun buries his face into the crook of his neck and mumbles against Ziyi’s skin, “I missed you more.”

“You’re not going to push me away again, are you?”

He rolls off the football captain and lays on his back. He looks up at the ceiling but doesn’t remove the hand that’s holding Ziyi’s jaw.

“I can’t guarantee that I won’t.” He answers honestly. “Because I’m scared. My last relationship was long distance and it didn’t work out and I’m afraid this one won’t work out either. But I will try. I’m willing to try and get over all of my issues.”

Ziyi pulls Xukun hand away from his face to hold it. “I’m not going anywhere. Just have a little faith in us, Kunkun. I’m not going to cheat on you and America isn’t even a sure thing.”

Xukun turns to look at him to find Ziyi already looking back at him. 

“I do. I do have faith in us.”

And it’s the truth. If there’s anyone to have faith in, it’s Ziyi.

“One deal breaker, though,” Ziyi makes a face and Xukun’s heart stops. “You don’t have an STD from sleeping around, do you?”

Xukun glares at him and snatches his hand away. 

“I do not have an STD!” He says, affronted. “And if I did, you would already have it.”

“Not so loud!” Ziyi whispers, covering Xukun’s mouth with his hand. “Everyone thinks I always top.”

Xukun bites his finger, causing Ziyi to instantly pull his hand away, and stares at him. “No one can hear. Everyone is probably in their tents.”

He pushes the cover off of him and onto Ziyi, muffling whatever Ziyi says next, and gets out of bed. Ziyi huffs and throws the covers off the bed.

“I will tell everyone you’re a bottom for what you did.” Xukun threatens, going through the food Ziyi bought. “Why was your _friend_ so touchy-feely with you?”

“Aw, baby,” the football captain coos, “were you jealous?”

Xukun gives him the finger and takes out the dumplings. He walks over to the bed with his food and chopsticks and plops down next to his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Oh.

They’re boyfriends now, aren’t they?

Boyfriend.

Ziyi’s his _boyfriend_.

He really likes how that sounds.

His _boyfriend_ wraps his arms around his shoulders and rests his chin on Xukun’s head. 

“You have no reason to be jealous.” Ziyi tells him. “He’s just a friend and he’s engaged. To a girl. And I’m dating. You, my boyfriend, Kunkun.”

Xukun swallows a dumpling, an involuntary smile forming on his face.

_We’re boyfriends._

Ziyi chuckles.

Shit, he said that out loud.

“You’re so cu—” Ziyi doesn’t have the chance to finish because Xukun is stuffing a dumpling into his mouth.

The football captain lets go of him, stealing a dumpling as he does. 

“These are mine.” Xukun says through a mouthful, pulling his plate away.

“I bought them!” Ziyi retorts but there’s no heat behind it. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“You’re luckier that I like you.”

Ziyi kisses his cheek and mumbles, “never stop saying that,” against it.

“I’ll say it so much you’ll get tired of it.” Xukun bites into the last dumpling and gets up to throw away the plate and chopsticks. 

When he turns around Ziyi is standing in front of him with a small jewelry box.

Xukun’s eyes widen. “It’s way too soon to propose. I just admitted to _myself_ that I like you.”

“If I was going to propose, I would do it somewhere fancy. Like Paris.”

“We get it, you’re rich.” Xukun rolls his eyes. “You walking cliché. Paris is such a cliché.”

“It’s my Christmas present that I didn’t have a chance to give.” Ziyi says and opens it.

It’s a gold bracelet with the letters Z and X. It’s pretty and so expensive. He really doesn’t deserve this man but he sticks his hand out and Ziyi gladly puts it on him.

“Well, my present pales in comparison.” Xukun says under his breath as he admires the shinning bracelet.

“You got me a present?” Ziyi looks surprised. 

“Made them.” Xukun says. “I made cards and I brought them but they’re in Yanjun’s car.”

“We can get them tomorrow.” Ziyi promises and wraps his arms around Xukun’s shoulders.

He brings the shorter in for a hug and nuzzles his cheek against Xukun’s hair.

“Why are you so touchy and _soft_?” Xukun wants to know but he returns the hug.

“I’m a touchy and soft man.” Ziyi shrugs. 

“I like sex-crazed Ziyi more.”

“I like all of you more.”

Xukun pulls away and looks at his boyfriend. “What’s going to happen if your dad forces you to go to America? I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it.”

Ziyi smooths out Xukun’s frown with his thumb and quickly pecks his lips with his own.

“We’ll make it work, Kunkun.” He tells Xukun positively. “You and I are forever.”

And he believes the football captain. If there is anyone in this world who lives up to his word, it’s Wang Ziyi. Xukun trusts him.

Xukun _trusts_ him.

He never thought he would see the day when he would put his trust in another human being but Ziyi isn’t just anyone. Ziyi is kind and patient and amazing. 

If anyone deserves his trust, it’s Ziyi.

“Let’s go to sleep.” The football captain announces.

“I just woke up. I’m not tired.” 

Ziyi pouts. “I am.”

Xukun wants to kiss that pout right off. 

Oh, wait, he can, so he does. He presses a gentle kiss against the pout and Ziyi instantly pulls his body against his as he deepens the kiss. 

“I thought you wanted to sleep.” Xukun mumbles.

Ziyi nibbles on his bottom lip. “Not anymore.”

He hoists Xukun up, the blond wrapping his legs around his torso, and carries him over to the bed. He slowly puts Xukun down, lips still attached, and snakes in a hand under his shirt. Xukun arches into the touch, causing them to break away. Ziyi kisses his neck.

“You’re not going to complain about hickeys now that we came out, are you?” The football captain asks but doesn’t wait to bite down into Xukun’s skin.

Xukun threads his fingers in Ziyi’s hair and says, “would you even listen?”

Ziyi pulls away to look at him. “If you’re serious, yes, but we both know you’re not. You like the hickeys.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“I like you finally being honest.”

Xukun rolls his eyes. “Shut up and fuck me.”

“Gladly.”

Ziyi pulls Xukun’s shirt off before kissing his way down his chest and abdomen. He stops right above the waistline of his pants and starts to undo them. Ziyi pulls off his pants and boxers and kisses the inside of Xukun’s thighs.

“Ziyi, faster, please.”

The football captain nips at his thigh but doesn’t say anything.

“I haven’t had your dick in weeks. Don’t torture me.” Xukun whines.

Ziyi removes his mouth from Xukun’s thigh and kisses the tip of the blond’s dick.

 

\---

 

“What do your cards say?” Ziyi asks once they’ve both cum.

“Sex acts and facts about me because you said I don’t share.”

“I’m finally going to learn about your life and your dislikes and likes?”

“I’ve shared!” Xukun defends.

“Barely!” Ziyi snorts and wraps his arms around Xukun.

The blond attempts to push him away. “Stop, you’re sweaty!”

Ziyi laughs and just hugs him tighter. Xukun eventually gives up and hugs him back.

“You’re a giant baby.” Xukun tells him.

The football captain buries his face into Xukun’s neck and nods mumbling, “yeah, but I’m your baby.”

That causes Xukun’s heart to flutter uncontrollably in his chest and a bright smile to stretch across his lips.

“Yeah,” he says softly, “you are, you fake top.”

Ziyi laughs into his shoulder and gently bites down on it. “Don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to maintain.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, baby.”

“Baby sounds nice coming from you.” Ziyi yawns.

“Yeah, yeah, go to sleep.”

The football captain nods and snuggles in as close as he can. Xukun feels Ziyi’s breathing even out before he goes completely slack. 

Xukun plays with Ziyi’s hair until he falls into a deep slumber too.

 

\---

 

They wake up the next morning still tangled up in each other.

“I could get use to this.” Ziyi says in his husky morning voice. “Move into the house until I graduate.’

“Move in with you for three months then have you leave and wake up alone? No.”

Ziyi stretches out his arms before wrapping them around Xukun once again. “We can get an apartment and you can wake up to me every morning.”

“Every morning?” Xukun scrunches up his nose in mock distaste. “I don’t know if I want to see your face every day.”

“You said I had a pretty face.” Ziyi sticks out his bottom lip to form the cutest pout.

“You heard wrong.”

Ziyi laughs and kisses his cheek. “We can figure everything out later. Let’s go get some breakfast.”

He get out of bed but Xukun grabs his hand and pulls him back down. Ziyi lands on top of his boyfriend with a huff.

“I don’t want to leave this room and deal with those assholes out there.” Xukun whines.

“We don’t have to, baby.” Ziyi says into his neck. “We can stay in bed until it’s time to go.”

And that is exactly what they do.

They spend the next two nights and their days in bed. They eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in bed as well. It’s just the two of them. In their own world. 

They do almost all the sexual acts on Xukun’s cards and its blissful. 

Xukun’s never felt this kind of elation before and he hopes he never stops feeling it. 

It’s their last night and they’re both lying in bed. Ziyi had just worked out and he’s sweaty and refuses to take a shower without Xukun.

“C’mon, let’s go take a shower.”

Xukun shakes his head. “I took this one this morning. You keep saying I’m going to go bald and you really want it to happen?”

“No, I just want to shower with my boyfriend.”

Xukun will never get tired of hearing Ziyi say _boyfriend_.

He groans. “Why?”

Ziyi grins suggestively. “Shower sex.”

“Shower hand job.”

The football captain stares at him. “We’ve been official for only three days and you’re already holding out? If I knew this would happen, I would have stayed being a fuckbuddy.”

“I knew it! You’re only using me for my dick.”

Ziyi laughs out loud. He wraps his arms around Xukun and hugs him tightly.

“Stop! You’re sweaty!” Xukun protests.

“You’re the one who doesn’t want to shower.”

“What happened to the hygienic Ziyi I knew?”

“You did this. We haven’t left this room in three days.”

Xukun stops squirming and looks into Ziyi’s eyes.

“If you didn’t want to be in the same room as me, you could have just said so.” He says quietly, his eyes now downcast.

Ziyi quickly lets him go and cups Xukun’s face with both hands.

“You know that’s not true.” Ziyi assures softly. “I don’t mind being anywhere with you, whether it’s three days in a hotel room or a whole year on a stranded island. You’re the one stuck with me. Not the other way around.”

Xukun looks at him and snorts. “You’re so cheesy.”

Ziyi’s mouth and hands drop. “You tricked me!”

“That’s what you get for making me sweaty.”

Xukun tries to get off Ziyi but the football captain immediately hugs him again. They roll back and forth on the bed until they’re both laughing. Ziyi releases him and Xukun drops on his back.

“I don’t want to go back to reality.” Ziyi mumbles, intertwining his fingers with Xukun’s. “You want to move to another country and start a new life together?”

Xukun turns his head to look at Ziyi. Their lips are inches apart and Xukun kisses him warmly and tenderly this time. He gives Ziyi’s lips a soft peck and the football captain seems to visibly melt in front of him.

“Your dad will cut you off, then we’ll be poor and homeless in another country.”

Ziyi makes a face.

“You’re so cute, Zizi.”

The football captain stares at him, mouth agape. “Are you _mocking_ me?”

“See.” Xukun says pointedly. “It’s not cute, huh?”

“It’s very cute. Call me Zizi from now on.”

“Ew! No!” Xukun exclaims dramatically. “We’re adults! Or, supposed to be.”

“But you like being called Kunkun.”

“Are you ever going to let that go?” Xukun whines.

“Never.” Ziyi gets on top of him, smiling so broadly it makes Xukun weak. 

His heart skips a beat as his entire body fills with warmth.

“You have a pretty smile.” Xukun whispers, his hand coming to cup Ziyi’s cheek.

Ziyi briefly leans into the touch and kisses Xukun hard, like he’s pouring out all of his feelings into that one kiss.

Xukun returns the kiss and flips them over.

“Tonight you’re mine.” He says against Ziyi’s lips.

Ziyi grins. “Always yours.”

 

(Yeah, they’re going to be okay.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to end fics jhsfjsj but i think this ending is okay.
> 
> i really hope you enjoyed it!!!  
> i want to thank every single one of you for commenting, leaving kudos, and reading. thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️
> 
> also the title of the fic is actually based on a song from the star soundtrack. if you guys wanna give it a listen, here it is (skip to 2:32): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HePbOFp8cJo


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